this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2026
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Autism
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I've always loved math and sciences and could plug and chug numbers into formulae all day, but I would often feel frustrated because though I knew the formulae worked, rote calculations wasn't rewarding if I didn't know why they worked. The greatest feeling was when the connection between theory and practice would finally click. The dopamine dump would make my day, and made doing the math fun again.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and finish my degree, but I chose to ~~drop out~~ put it on hold because I couldn't reconcile going >$120k in debt for a masters degree that could not guarantee me a career that paid well enough to take care of that debt without making the rest of life feel terrible.
Solitarily with the I-couldn't-afford-grad-school lol. I knew I could not afford to go to grad school full time but I didn't realize part time enrolment meant I had to pay back my undergrad loans and I couldn't pay my loans with work that was flexible enough to let me attend class. Womp womp.