Ask Lemmygrad

American here, I don’t engage with people like that online - but IRL I take a few strategies depending on my relationship to the person. I grew up in the south and later did public advocacy for substance abuse harm reduction, so I’ve been in a similar position tons of times and these work best for me.

• validate the valid and redirect it. Repeat their statement back to them so they feel heard and say “Sounds like you’re worried about (performative care) I am too, but I think that…” and push back/redirect. If it’s minors wearing hijabs, bring up children’s issues that are more important like hunger and poverty. If it’s govt benefits, redirect to corporate tax evasion and artificial scarcity. Respond to their attempts to bring it back to prejudice with “hmmm i think XYZ is a bigger issue, how do we solve that?” Keep redirecting to root/important issues. I use this with family and coworkers to keep peace without acquiescing and hopefully nudge them in a better direction.
• “do you want to learn or fight?” Basically just ask them if they want to have an open dialogue or be mad. Usually people just want to be mad and they’ll respond with “well i just think that-“ cut them off “why are we talking about this?” Both of you can avoid the conversation if you want to, but sometimes it leads to a better faith conversation.
• Make them feel weird/impolite for bringing it up. “Ummm anyway… (continue with previous conversation)” “come on, I was having a good day, don’t ruin it” sometimes I’ll literally just say “oof” or “cringe” out loud. Focus on how they’re being socially inappropriate, because they are! -

With all of these: I do NOT engage with their illogical arguments, debate is pointless, they don’t care about logic and it only makes them feel like their argument is worth discussing. Redirect or shut it down. (Edit: formatting)