this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2025
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It was one of the funniest revelations I learned about in recovery and had it explained to me by one of the best treatment people I know and am lifelong friends with.
We were talking about a particular person who was going through recovery that we both knew ... the guy was a complete jerk, an asshole, completely without empathy or care for other people ... and he was an alcoholic. My treatment counsellor friend was helping him.
I said at one point that once this jerk does become sober, maybe he'll lighten up and be a little bit nicer to other people.
My treatment counsellor friend explained that what he was doing has nothing to do with a person's personality ... all they wanted to do was help him to stop drinking ... then he added ... "if he was an asshole before he got sober, he'll probably still be an asshole when he gets sober, our job is to help you to stop drinking, it has nothing to do with anything else about how a person is. I really don't care what he's like after, as long as he stops drinking."