this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2025
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Thanks for asking 🙂. I think man or bear raises important points about gender and safety, and I definitely don't think it's transphobic. So in my opinion, you're safe keeping it up.
It can cause discomfort for some because it unintentionally invokes the complications around "passing." Because not all trans women pass 100% of the time, it can lead to situations where they're perceived as "male" in public by strangers, which can lead to cis women putting their guard up in a way they might not around strangers who are cis women. "Choosing the bear," so to speak. This isn't anyone's fault, and cis women aren't wrong for having safety instincts. It just happens sometimes and it can be dysphoria-inducing. So transfemmes are in a unique position: They have the same struggle as cis women in regards to safety, but they're also distrusted themselves by association.
So when the meme went viral, I remember seeing a handful of posts from sad trans women on queer subreddits, I think because the algorithms leaned into it nonstop and it reminded trans women of how they are or were once perceived. The meme has also been misused by gender-criticals to justify keeping trans women out of women's bathrooms and in men's prisons. So I just wanted to share some positivity in case any trans folks saw this and felt that sad for any reason.
Some more context:
https://redlib.catsarch.com/r/MtF/comments/1ck9ovw/i_put_myself_in_a_bad_headspace_regarding_man_vs/
https://redlib.catsarch.com/r/MtF/comments/1d7s6l6/transgender_woman_or_bear/
That's really useful info thanks so much!