this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2025
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Me too (reddthat.com)
submitted 6 days ago by LadyButterfly@reddthat.com to c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone
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[–] Wren@lemmy.today 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I've had the good fortune of experiencing both.

Loggers, multiple times, have stopped me just to say "Aren't you worried about being a woman alone out here?" And no, no I wasn't until you said that, you creepy fucks.

I've been within smelling distance of grizzles (which is a broad range, they stink) and bearly noticed. A bear just kinda looks at you and keeps doing their thing unless you're up in their business.

A polar bear, though? I'll take six creepshows over one of those bad boys(or girls,) anyday.

[–] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Regarding those beara, I've heard it described as "If it's brown, lie down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, good night" -- because you might as well say goodbye.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago

The white part is true. If you go up to Churchill, MB, there are signs posted all over the place for them, and bear alerts when one's spotted. The unlocked doors thing is a myth, people leave their doors unlocked because locks freeze, and if you stole a car, where would you go? But you could probably use that to get away from a bear, too.

Black bears can range from reddish to brown to black, but they're smaller and cuter. I say just keep doing your thing if you see black or brown, if you lie down they'd probably get curious and come over.

[–] MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 6 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

Relatable! But I know this meme can be really triggering for some trans women, so I just want to say a few things preemptively:

-Internalized transphobia is rough. Trans women are women and not men and this meme doesn't apply to them.

-Just about everyone sharing the meme would choose a trans woman over the bear or choose the bear over both men and women (cis or trans).

-There's probably, somewhere on the internet, a TERF who used this meme for evil. Please don't go out looking for content like that. It definitely doesn't reflect most people using the meme.

-A lot of girls worry that they don't pass, or have to boymode, and will unintentionally make cis women nervous. After years of HRT, I still try to walk on the opposite side of the road of cis women I don't know, or make early turns, even on days where I feel like I look great. It's not a perfect consolation, but if you're worried about that, actively thinking about wanting other women to feel safe, those women didn't have anything to be nervous about in the first place.

-Men have us all on edge and we're all just trying to stay safe.

[–] JennyLaFae@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 6 days ago

When I was early transition, I saw so many women visibly letting their guard down when they clocked I was a girl. And nowadays I have my own guardrails around men, I wish society wasn't like this.

[–] LadyButterfly@reddthat.com 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Thanks for raising that, can you explain how? And should I delete it?

[–] MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Thanks for asking 🙂. I think man or bear raises important points about gender and safety, and I definitely don't think it's transphobic. So in my opinion, you're safe keeping it up.

It can cause discomfort for some because it unintentionally invokes the complications around "passing." Because not all trans women pass 100% of the time, it can lead to situations where they're perceived as "male" in public by strangers, which can lead to cis women putting their guard up in a way they might not around strangers who are cis women. "Choosing the bear," so to speak. This isn't anyone's fault, and cis women aren't wrong for having safety instincts. It just happens sometimes and it can be dysphoria-inducing. So transfemmes are in a unique position: They have the same struggle as cis women in regards to safety, but they're also distrusted themselves by association.

So when the meme went viral, I remember seeing a handful of posts from sad trans women on queer subreddits, I think because the algorithms leaned into it nonstop and it reminded trans women of how they are or were once perceived. The meme has also been misused by gender-criticals to justify keeping trans women out of women's bathrooms and in men's prisons. So I just wanted to share some positivity in case any trans folks saw this and felt that sad for any reason.

Some more context:

https://redlib.catsarch.com/r/MtF/comments/1ck9ovw/i_put_myself_in_a_bad_headspace_regarding_man_vs/

https://redlib.catsarch.com/r/MtF/comments/1d7s6l6/transgender_woman_or_bear/

[–] LadyButterfly@reddthat.com 3 points 5 days ago

That's really useful info thanks so much!

[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 5 days ago

Okay but how many of us would rather spend time in a room with both a rapey man and a bear than a fucking terf?

[–] ZDL@lazysoci.al 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Let's face it. Bears are adorable anyway.

[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 6 days ago

Average Polish person: