When I got started as an aspiring Marxist a few years ago, I joined the only Marxist org in my area. I was excited at first, but not long after it morphed into a weird Trot cult focused on the chairman. People started leaving until it was mostly Trots circle jerking about how they're the only true Marxists, all AES are "degenerated workers' states" that betrayed the revolution, and apparently no one since Trotsky has advanced Marxism in any meaningful way, among many other things. I quietly and reluctantly went along because I was still new and didn't want to speak on matters I had no knowledge of.
At some point I decided to read some Mao, and after I quoted "Combat Liberalism" I got interrogated by senior members for some sort of perceived "Stalinism". I got some lecture about how Mao and his "clique" unfairly suppressed the Trots during the revolution, and how Stalin forced the CPC to ally with the reactionaries and how that led to a bunch of people getting killed, or something like that. The point they really wanted to get across was that Mao and Stalin were traitors to the revolution and were not to be trusted. That really shook my confidence, but shortly after that the org suddenly dissolved because the chairman got exposed for... Inappropriate behavior. In retrospect, there were so many issues, I'm not sure what I thought could possibly be accomplished. I got really disillusioned for a long time.
Now I'm wanting to get politically active again, but the problem is that there are no Marxist orgs around in my part of the U.S. I'm not sure how I would go about starting one, and I'm afraid that I'm carrying remnants of not only liberalism, but also whatever erroneous ideas I may have picked up while in the cult.
So with all that said, I'd greatly appreciate advice and reading recommendations to help me start fresh. In particular, I'd love a comprehensive reading list that would help me develop into a proper Marxist-Leninist. Thank you. <3
The trots in China worked with KMT and Japanese. heres a short reading