this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2025
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[โ€“] Hackworth@piefed.ca 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I do get what you're saying. And I should say I have enormous respect for people who choose to have children and follow through with raising them. But it's a type of selfishness to want to extend one's particular family line rather than choosing to adopt one of the many children who currently need a parental figure in their lives. If there were few of us and this was a matter of actual continuation of the species, the common societal framing would make more sense. But as it is, the choice carries no real ethical/moral imperative other than the responsibility to potential offspring.

Doing something or not doing it because it's the right thing for you is not inherently selfish. It's exactly the freedom we all cherish. And I think the typical framing of selfish/selfless does more harm than good in this case. We may just disagree over semantics. But at least here, "selfish" carries negative connotations, as the disregard described in the definition must assume some entitlement that the group has over an individual's decision. I'm mostly pushing back against the foundations of that entitlement. Thanks for engaging with this thoughtfully. I appreciate the discussion!

I'm mostly pushing back against the foundations of that entitlement.

I'm trying to push back against the connotation, so I think we're fighting the same fight on different fronts here :D

I'm also not going to have kids, for what it's worth.