this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2025
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Web Design

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Five years ago, I hired a UX designer with exceptional soft skills. Articulate in meetings. Diplomatic with stakeholders. Created beautiful presentation decks. Responded to Slack within minutes with encouragement and emoji.

Three months later, the project failed because they’d agreed to every terrible idea anyone suggested.

Seventeen stakeholder requests. Fourteen contradictory features. Zero pushback.

The product launched as a compromise nobody wanted, designed by a committee nobody asked for.

Their soft skills were outstanding. Their design judgment was invisible.

That’s when I realized “great soft skills” in a job description usually means “won’t challenge us when we’re wrong.”

Which is exactly what clients don’t need but desperately want.

(Like hiring a doctor who agrees with your self-diagnosis.)

Now I hire differently.

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[–] pirat@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 day ago

Personally the qualities listed of this person who had "good soft skills" aren't good soft skills. People pleasing isn't a soft skill, is just being soft.

Communication and collaboration often necesitate conflict, and conflict isn't bad. Conflixt is often the stimulus for gorwth. Someone with good soft skills knows how to have "positive conflicts" and can be assistive with ideas and limitations.

I don't disagree with the assessment that most people's self assessment of soft skills means they are passivr people pleasers rather than compassionate assertive listeners and problem solvers.