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for the comrades in the autistic spectrum, how did you find out? (lemmygrad.ml)

submitted 2 days ago by sovietsnake@lemmygrad.ml to c/comradeship@lemmygrad.ml

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well, basically tik tok started recommending me a lot of videos about autism, adhd, audhd, aspergher's and that kind of thing more specifically. i started watching them and what they describe as 'symptoms' or whatever seem to match with a lot of things i tend to do. i then found a screening test which is used to see if a diagnostic is worth it (it's some kind of psichiatrically approved test) and my score was positive for asperghers. of course it doesn't mean anything because i need a professional but it got me thinking if maybe it is my own bias or if maybe i should try and seek professional help, a lot of my issues when it comes to my "professional" life i feel have been fucked up because of things that could be related to this, so that's what kind of bothers me, and also that maybe has impacted in some ways in my social life or social skills. but i dont know if maybe i'm just being dumb or not, so i'd like to know what it was for other comrades.

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[–] CurseAvoider@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 2 days ago

Funny you should ask because I was just talking with my sibling's new partner and she's very aware of disability. We haven't talked a lot yet but pretty much get each other on this bc she's disabled too lol. She asked if I had gotten checked out for autism and I said no, and she said "because with us (she's diagnosed) there's often these comorbidities that we can't explain esp with stomach problems".

To be clear I've never had a diagnosis but as a teen I've often wondered if I might have been autistic. Even now I sometimes still wonder. At my age though most of the problems I noticed as a teen about my conduct/behavior seem to have gotten much better, especially after I started lifting weights some 4 years ago (and had to stop bc of the disability of course 🥲).

Like I was anxious a lot, in my own world a lot of the time, not really caring to understand that I lived in the external world - so didn't really care how I looked or dressed. Lots of social etiquette and situations that I simply did not get, but to be fair we moved a lot across the world when I was young so I think some of it can be attributed to never really having a stable environment to learn in. Like the way they do things in one place (e.g. riding the bus or paying at stores) is completely different in another country. It kinda fucks with you and people think you're mentally challenged (sorry if it's not the correct term it's very late here lol) when you don't know this as an adult but what do you want from me, I literally moved here a month ago!

Even to this day I don't really rely on facial expressions talking to people because I don't really understand them. I still catch myself talking to people while looking elsewhere because I have no idea how to interpret most facial expressions so I rely on their words and tones instead. This part was tested, but idk I don't think they really cared to interpret the results. It's a test where they show you photos taken of people miming emotions on their faces and you have to match the 6 emotions to the pictures. I think I failed miserably lol it took me a good while for each picture and I failed 2 in the end IIRC.

I used to have a vivid imagination as a kid, I couldn't fall asleep easily at bedtime (which I think was because of DSPS, delayed sleep phase syndrome which is a very unknown syndrome to the point that even experts often don't know about it) so I used to play pretend for hours on end inventing worlds and stories lol.

I've heard masking comes naturally with age, I'm not sure if it's masking or just the external symptoms softening. I don't have anxiety anymore (I had it all throughout my teens + adult years and never realized what it was until I was in my 20s), and a lot of the time as a teen and young adult people used to think I was being rude in how I said things even when I thought I was talking normally. But I also have a booming voice lol but hey I was born with it can't really do anything about it. I can go on for hours talking about something without even realizing it.

Anyway I could go on lol. I feel like I could try and get a diagnosis to be sure but I'm also not sure what good it would do. Maybe for my own closure.