this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2025
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So, obviously a big thing with autism is not understanding social stuff, at least best I understand it allistics have a more intuitive understanding of social situations/dynamics. Now a lot of the time this isn't a huge issue for me personally, I guess with time I've learned from situations around me/masked/maybe I am just unaware. Or maybe I have just mostly stayed in safe situations I've done before. Yea there's painful mistakes but overall I think they're usually realistically minor. Anyway.
Where this has been a huge issue/worry for me for a while now is being trans and talking about that and navigating that with cis people irl. I've had pretty limited to trans people irl, especially before realizing I'm trans so I haven't seen these dynamics play out. I haven't seen a newly out trans person talking to cis people about things so I have no frame of reference for how to act, or like what the social boundaries are or what's appropriate etc.
Now that I think of it never having intimate (not that intimate) conversations about feelings and things modeled for me as a child probably also did not help. But its all very stressful for me after the fact, worrying about what they might be thinking about me. Obviously a lot of it is really personal for me, I really care about women's reactions/feelings/views towards me is, and idk. I just don't know what's okay. What's uncomfortable. How to talk about any of it, its all new to me and I just don't trust my intuition for what's okay. (like yes obviously I can pick out things that obviously wouldn't be but that's not my struggle). Its all new social stuff for me. I don't have scripts for what's okay to talk about or do or get support with as a trans woman from cis women. I've opened up to quite a few people now and idk. That is not a dynamic I am used to or have seen or feels comfortable at all to me. I keep worrying long after my conversations.
Semi related but I feel like I often feel closer to people then they feel to me if that makes sense and is another thing I worry about in relation to this or any other kind of deep conversation topic.
I hope this makes sense I've been trying to figure out how to put it into words for a few days now and been typing for an embarrassing amount of time and am now exhausted. Also sorry I don't engage with these threads much, I do read them but I feel my issues are quite different then most of yours and don't know what to say. But I do care about you all.