this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
16 points (90.0% liked)

Mental Health

6873 readers
303 users here now

Welcome

This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.

Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.

If you need someone to talk to, @therapygary@lemmy.blahaj.zone has kindly given his signal username to talk to: TherapyGary13.12

Rules

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

  1. No promoting paid services/products.
  2. Be kind and civil. No bigotry/prejudice either.
  3. No victim blaming. Nor giving incredibly simplistic solutions (i.e. You have ADHD? Just focus easier.)
  4. No encouraging suicide, no matter what. This includes telling someone to commit homicide as "dragging them down with you".
  5. Suicide note posts will be removed, and you will be reached out to in private.
  6. If you would like advice, mention the country you are in. (We will not assume the US as the default.)

If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.

Partner Communities

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.

Becoming a Mod

Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to @fxomt@lemmy.dbzer0.com.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Jesus Christ

If I was on a Chinese forum, they'd all just side with my mother.

Why couldn't my mother have been a Norweigian? They seem so happy, I'm so fucking jealous.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Which country are you in, cause in the west, parents owe their children many things such as food, shelter, clothing, and education. Morally you owe her nothing unless there was a loan I guess.

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

I was born in Mainland China, now living in the US.

I think the general sentinment in China is the kids owe their parents, especially their mother, for the fact that she gave birth... and also for basic things like feeding them and providing shelter and safety.

My mom taught me: “世上只有妈妈好” ("Only your mother is good" or something like that... it's a lulluby thing and told me to distrust everyone else and only listen to her)

I actually remember in a World Language class in highschool (in the US), so obviously I pick the easiest, I already know a bit of Chinese from when I was in school in China, and I had this Chinese/Taiwanese (forgot which one) teacher that explained the difference between Asia and the West.

Somthing like: In Asia, the children owes their parents, in the West the parents owe their kids...

And like I remember during class I was kinda just half-daydreaming and thinking about stuff... and like... it kinda just hit me...

Like... It's such a stark contrast in philosophy

My head just hurt so much, no amount of therapy can fix my fucked up brain from all these years...

My older brother is a conspiracy nutjob and a racist ethnic supremacist, all thanks to my parents, and they're suprised how he turned out that way when their philosophy/politics is already half way there.

Literally, like the first thing I was told by my mom right after we landed in JFK airport was that "CPS = Bad" don't talk to them...

(edit: CPS = Child Protective Services, US)

I mean, sure I don't trust authorities either... but...

Red flag much?

Have any parents actually told their kids that "CPS is bad"

I mean... i don't even know anymore

Government is scary

Parents are scary

School is scary

Your peers are scary and will bully you

Outside is scary

This is what I learned from my existence in life

[–] Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 months ago

I'm sorry you've had to experience such suffering.

[–] worhui@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Seeing this first hand with a 1st generation immigrant mother(not mine) I am getting to know as an adult.

The western philosophy is a bit different than it was explained. In the West the parents are responsible for the kids. They brought them into the world and they are responsible for raising them to be productive members of society. You don't owe the kids, but you do have to raise them and look after them. If you don't cps goes after the adult.

Behaving as your mom does is being asked to be treated like a child or a baby while still demanding the respect of being an adult.