depression_now!

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A sad place for sad people to be sad.

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This community is for people with depression. Memes and general discussion about depression are encouraged and welcome.

Bi-polar people are also allowed to post here but only sometimes.(joke)

This community is aimed at being inclusive for all people with depression and as such should be free of racism, homophobia, trans-phobia, sexism, patriarch and all other forms of hate-speech.

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Therapy is not for everyone, check out peer counseling instead: https://www.americanmentalwellness.org/intervention/peer-support/

Find health professionals: https://www.psychologytoday.com/

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Im only good for being thrown away (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by bellly@sopuli.xyz to c/depression_now@lemmy.world

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No one will ever care for me the way I care for them. There must be something so fundamentally repulsive about me, that people are willing to use me but the moment I try to open up I get cast aside. I dont blame them. No one wants a burden in their life. Maybe things could be different if I wasnt so ugly. But it wouldn't really matter, because id still be broken beyond repair. I guess my father was right when he said no one would ever love me. He was right and it hurts. I already know that I will eventually kill myself. Im not sure how to write a suicide note, but if it's bad I at least won't have to live with it

Edit: and before anyone says the "don't kill yourself, I care blah blah" bullshit platitudes: you do not know me. The person you are saying that to is some imaginary person you just made up in your head. A person who is "good enough" and "able to be loved", and whatever other nonsense you thought of. But I am not that person. You wouldn't know that, though. Because you do not know me.

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[–] deifyed@lemmy.wtf 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yet again I'm confused. Why does not being one thing turn you into the opposite? If a person goes through their whole life never doing a good deed, I wouldn't call them evil. Just neutral I guess. It's been a while since I reflected on moral philosophy.. You are evil when your actions are evil. Maybe not even then. When your intentions are evil. People with good intentions can do bad stuff. I'd call them a lot of things, but probably not evil. People with evil intent can do good stuff, but.. it would be easier for me to call that person evil. However; I think if you are able to understand the reasoning behind the evil intent, you'll find the person either actually had good intentions clouded by a twisted world view, trauma or a disease. That's what I mean by thinking people are inherently good. What I believe anyway.

Also. Feeling like a bad person doesn't make you bad. I doubt good people walk around feeling like good people. Personally; I hide behind intent. I intend to be a good person. Wether I am or not is not up to me to decide. Honestly I can't judge myself. I'm biased. It wouldn't be objective

[–] bellly@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Its just a deeply rooted feeling with no real reason behind it. Except maybe my shitty childhood. I thought using circular logic would illustrate how irrational it is, but it seems I didnt convey it very well.

I try to be a good person, to offset the inherent bad. But its difficult, when the bad is immeasurable and the good can be counted on one hand (not literally)

[–] deifyed@lemmy.wtf 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I get that the bad is immeasurable, but isn't good also immeasurable? How do you count the good?

Also; why do you try to be a good person? As in what is your motivation for trying to be a good person

[–] bellly@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The good is measured in the things I do, the bad in me being. I always am, so Im always inadvertently doing bad. Yes I know this sounds stupid.

I believe that suffering should be reduced as much as possible. So if I can, I try to make other people's lives at least a little bit better, even if its just for a moment.

[–] deifyed@lemmy.wtf 1 points 1 month ago

I believe that suffering should be reduced as much as possible. So if I can, I try to make other people's lives at least a little bit better, even if its just for a moment

This is something only a good person would say