I cannot watch TikTok or YouTube shorts or Instagram reels anymore.

When it comes to having any degree of comprehension as to why these apps insist on making me so angry I feel like I cannot characterize myself as anything better than a plank of wood.

I don't understand who is benefiting from this relationship because clearly I'm not. Every time I stop scrolling on tiktok or YouTube I am so angry I cannot focus on my job! I can't decide what to do next! I can't do anything!! I'm not even clicking on ads, I've bought a couple of things from TikTok that are ok,, prices are sometimes better on tiktok,,

But if I watch one more:

• CPS worker try and fail to kidnap children
• Any sort of religious debate though most of the ones I'm getting are about Jesus and convincing people that Islam is real or not
• Narrated stories from Reddit
• Ella Boyett (the hiiiiiiiii Karen with the wig)
• Any skits about customers misbehaving at businesses
• Instructional recipe videos formatted in discovery-speak, for example "when you add this to this and add this to this and mix and bake you get this"
• Sheffield Jew hunt awareness videos
• Videos about how gross immigrants might be behaving in European cities
• NYC, Dearborn Mi, Lakewood Nj
• Anything involving screaming
• Video recording strangers crashing out
• Crashouts in general actually
• Videos of people whining about something that they're psyoped to believe they need in their life
• Tiny accounts with less than 100 followers making lukewarm observations

I will actually be in a state of life or death emergency. Like I'm not even being facetious or obtuse I just deleted tiktok before I started writing this and I don't feel safe.. I'll feel better in a little bit.

I just can't remember the last time I watched something funny. I can't remember the last time I laughed on YouTube. I'm just miserable by nature and these apps aren't making it any better.

I want to know what profit these algorithms are optimizing for. I feel like with me my algorithm might have reached a false valley way too soon and there's nothing I can do to dislocate it and have it try again, tiktok lets you reset your feed but YouTube doesn't really. But every time I reset my tiktok feed it always returns to the same exact shit, you can't even not engage with the same content you used to engage with because that's also considered engagement, swiping away too fast apparently counts as much as watching the whole thing through because you already know what it is therefore you interacted with it which is what the algorithm wants. I like algorithmically curated content sometimes, I like it when the algorithm is also really good which is something I used to say about tiktok but not now that it's trying everything it can to make me angry.

Edit 2hrs later: all is well I'm okay. Turns out I kind of like reading horror manga. Junji Ito is pretty good, I can now say that I've read Frankenstein!