danhab99

Guys I'm in a slump, I keep having the same fight every time I feel bored and want to go out to do something and I can't because I don't know what to do because I don't even know what kinds of things I can do, like what classification of activity I should pick. And even when I do pick an activity class I'm paralyzed with the decisions regarding how to execute that activity. It's a 3dimentional puzzle of trying to find what doesn't make me miserable, is actually available to me, and I understand.

Here is my current list of activity classes, I keep it as an Obsidian Kanban board where each lane is a my opinion. What classifications should I add or if you have any ideas for what specific things I can do I'd really appreciate that too.

I'm based in Brooklyn

New things

• [ ] Hobbyist Groups Model Building, Gardening Clubs #social
• [ ] Joining Environmental Groups #social

Want to do

• [ ] Volunteering at Charities #social #commitment
• [ ] Calligraphy #lazy #equipment
• [ ] Electronic Circuit Building #equipment #alone
• [ ] Skating Inline, Ice #sport #inside #winter
• [ ] Kickboxing #sport
• [ ] Canoeing #sport #social #outside
• [ ] Volleyball #sport #social #club #outside
• [ ] Handmade Jewelry #equipment #class
• [ ] Robotics #equipment #expensive #alone
• [ ] Electronic Music Production #alone #class
• [ ] Nature Walks for Relaxation #alone
• [ ] Listening to Calming Music #alone
• [ ] Progressive Muscle Relaxation #alone
• [ ] Joining a Film Club #club
• [ ] Community Art Classes #social #class
• [ ] Collage Making #materials
• [ ] Baking as a creative activity #lazy #home #materials
• [ ] Music Composition #lazy
• [ ] Sewing #art #equipment
• [ ] Coffee Latte Art #class #equipment
• [ ] Swimming

Don't want to do

• [ ] Volunteering for Political Causes #social
• [ ] Participating in Dance Classes #social
• [ ] Joining a Choir or Music Group #social
• [ ] Language Exchange Clubs #social #club
• [ ] Furniture Restoration #expensive #materials #resources
• [ ] Garden Design #outside
• [ ] Film Making #art #equipment
• [ ] Rugby #sport #social #club
• [ ] Lacrosse #sport #social #club #outside
• [ ] Dodgeball #sport #social #club #outside
• [ ] Ultimate Frisbee #sport #social #club #outside
• [ ] Parkour #sport #social #outside
• [ ] Wrestling #sport #social #club #inside
• [ ] Surfing #sport #summer #outside
• [ ] Snowboarding #sport #expensive #winter
• [ ] Skiing Alpine or Cross-Country #sport #expensive #winter
• [ ] Rowing #sport #social #club #outside #hard
• [ ] Gymnastics #sport #social #club #inside #hard
• [ ] Cricket #sport #social #club #outside
• [ ] Basketball #sport #sport #social #club #outside
• [ ] Football/Soccer #sport #social #club #outside
• [ ] Weight Lifting #sport #club #hard
• [ ] Rock Climbing #sport
• [ ] Martial Arts Karate, Judo #sport
• [ ] Dancing various styles #sport #club #social

Planning

• [ ] Volunteer at animal shelter
• [ ] Pottery #art #expensive #equipment
• [ ] Sculpting #art #expensive #equipment

Doing

• [ ] Reading manga #lazy

Will do it again

• [ ] Deep Breathing Exercises #alone
• [ ] Boxing #sport #hard #club #equipment
• [ ] Yoga #sport #inside #alone #club
• [ ] Hiking #sport #outside
• [ ] Swimming #sport #club
• [ ] Spas #lazy #expensive
• [ ] Writing Journaling, Novels, Poetry #art
• [ ] Playing a Musical Instrument #art
• [ ] Attending Networking Events #social
• [ ] Aromatherapy #therapy
• [ ] Massage Therapy
• [ ] Herbal Therapy #therapy
• [ ] Tea Ceremonies #alone
• [ ] Mobile App Development
• [ ] Open Source Contributions
• [ ] Going to a comedy show #outside #lazy

Did it once

• [ ] Photography #art #equipment
• [ ] Joining a Book Club #social
• [ ] Cycling #sport #equipment #outside
• [ ] Drawing #art #skilled
• [ ] Painting #art #equipment
• [ ] Scuba diving

Do it with friends

• [ ] Attending Community Festivals #social
• [ ] Attending Concerts and Live Performances #social
• [ ] Cooking Classes with Friends #social #class #club

Hated it

• [ ] Meditation #alone
• [ ] Running #sport #outside #hard
• [ ] Sitting in Silence

Used to do it but its over

• [ ] Gaming Communities Online or Offline #social
• [ ] Tennis #sport #social #club #outside

I'm worried about his genetics. He was re-homed to me at 2yo, his previous owners did some genetic selection for him which I don't think I approve of. But he's my cat and I love him to bits and pieces and I want to know that he's ok.

I just broke up with a friend of afew years.

We met in college, she changed my life for the better, I'll never have a friend like that again.

3ish years ago she moved to a different state, we haven't hung out in person in forever. We talk on whatsapp all the time. Recently she got into some trouble and asked me for help, I should have refused. Not like it would have made a difference, we haven't talked in weeks.

I feel like I get "going through a hard time" better than everyone. Things suck right now but I have such a deep comprehension of how much worse-off I can be, I'm happy I'm not starving.

But I still manage to reach out, I still manage to grow and change and do new things. Why can't she, why can't my friends stop being so broke-minded when it comes to me.

Everything I want to do is 10x harder or 10x more expensive simply bc I suggest it but when others bring up the same ideas it's fine. How can it be impossible to manage in 10x difficulty when I do it all the time?

I cannot be special, that's against the rule that everybody is special therefore nobody's special therefore I cannot be special. So how is it possible that I can feel so aweful all the time and still drag myself to go out and have fun even though I'm at a bar alone. I can do it. It's not hard. Just go out and get a drink and stand there and be ok.

If you're feeling sad and a friend texts you then you have to text back, if you asked a friend for help and they helped you should owe them back atleast how hard it was for you to ask. You should have to give back something. And if you don't what does that mean for me? Do I gain the privilege to do something? Should I do something about it? What can be done?

So I decided to break up with her because even if I didn't help she can go months without talking to me and that's the same as not having friends to me so what? Why is it different? Why shouldn't I make something out of this empty pipe between us and fill it with a push, people have pushed me out, does that mean that I get the privilege to push people out too? Should I (I already did)?

All I know about making friends at my age is that the ROI is bad bc the cost is actually that daunting. The benefits have not increased since childhood but the difficulty has. And at some age I passed a threshold where the difficulty line rose above the benefit line and it's just going up and up and I can't stop it, I can't get ahead of it.

I can't do anything but loose people. My last friend is married, she'll be having kids in afew years, she's on the other side of the planet. We're effectively not even friends anymore but what can I say about it? Tell her to slow down for me?

I want community

I want my old cat back

I want to be a child again because I can't face an inevitable future where I know how much less I will have.

A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with my therapist and he pointed some things that about me: mainly that my sense of socializing and bonding is feminine, I don't like making friends even though I like having friends I don't like the process of acquiring them, and because of that I don't really have many hobbies or much of a sense of self. My therapist explains to me that the average heterosexual male bonds with fellow males through shared experiences and activities like playing pool, we're doing construction.

And then this got me reflecting on the whole concept of hookup culture. What if it's the average male that can only really bond with other men through shared experiences and activities like having sex? And my demisexuality makes me fundamentally incompatible with like 90% of all gay men, so on top of how hard romance is for me for other reasons, it is now 10 times harder?

This is a hyper generalization I know but it's kind of bothering me that I have no one else to talk to about it.

"Rust's compiler prevents common bugs" So does skill. No offense to you, but, this trope is getting so tiresome. If you like the language then go ahead and use it. What is it with the rust crowd that they have to come acrosslike people trying to convert your religion at your front door?

I don't think that casting a range of bits as some other arbitrary type "is a bug nobody sees coming".

C++ compilers also warn you that this is likely an issue and will fail to compile if configured to do so. But it will let you do it if you really want to.

That's why I love C++