I am experiencing a rough time in which I really was sorely needing the validation of being around people who liked me, but due to unfortunate luck, it all went to hell. My morale is lower than ever, and I still need to finish the awful and dehumanising process that made me so low in the first place

I am just don't know who I am. I've had to spend hours and hours writing about the worst of my worst days, which effectively feels like I'm just saying I'm nothing more than a waste of resources. I know that it's not sustainable to rely on external validation for self worth, but I just needed people to remind me that I'm a person. That's probably a bad way of describing the problem — I wish I knew what good there exists in me that's worth fighting for, to provide a contrast to the awful shit I'm having to immerse myself in