this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2026
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name
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I think we often forget about “young man” and “young woman.”
When someone is too young to safely call a woman, “young woman” is quite a compliment and gives her the respect of an adult anyway. If someone is just barely too old to be called a girl, they will probably find it neutral enough. And if someone is much too old to be called a girl they will appreciate it as flattery.
Hm. Calling someone young woman or young man - to my middle aged ass - means they are in trouble.
Young man/young woman, haven't your parents taught you proper manners? We eat salad with salad fork, not dessert one!
(You get the gist)
Yeah some people will have that association. But only rarely will the grammar of the situation even match that at all.
For example, let’s say you are the store manager and a customer has requested a refund. You call down to billing to see if they can hook it up, and you say “Hi, yeah this is Dave. I have a young woman here who received the wrong size shoe in her pickup order…”
There’s no way for her to interpret that as “she’s in trouble.”
In fact, to match the association you’re talking about, it pretty much has to be used in directly addressing the person. And how often do you begin a normal sentence by saying “Woman, sit tight - I’m going to get you a refund for this.”
I mean call me weird, but in both of those situations one would use "a customer" instead.
Dear customer, sit tight.
Dave, I have a customer here...
It’s an example for illustrative purposes. It illustrates the point about grammar I was making. Now you’re on another point about whether it’s even necessary to use a gendered term at all. I don’t really feel like running around in circles on this further.