Comradeship // Freechat

I live in a comprador semi-peripheral country, am in my mid-20s, and am currently residing with my mother because the current economy of my country doesn't allow me to survive by myself. I am studying a major I don't like at one of the most prestigious universities in the country, and I can't find a job without agreeing to enslave myself to the employers.

Furthermore, I recently started to see a therapist and got prescribed some drugs for my anxiety disorder and depression, diagnosed by a psychiatrist. I really try to get my stuff together, but I always feel like I am failing, and my mother doesn't help it by constantly nagging about fixing myself immediately and pestering me for acting like a man in my age, as if I born 20.

I don't want to get too deep with my personal relationship with my mom. Likewise, I can say I love her, but she needs professional help. She had troubles with her family and my father until today. She dismisses my suggestions by saying she'll get better when I get better. Furthermore, she keeps rushing my healing process and yells at me when I make less progress than she expected, and sometimes threatens me with suicide.

I won't talk about my father much. He's an asshole who wasn't supposed to be a father and the reason for my issues. My parents were always fighting over their lifestyle differences. My parents divorced before the pandemic, and he didn't care about me and my mom at all. He's just a dead man for me at this point.

My mother's main issue with me is I don't have any income. I extended the school because of many reasons—mental issues, disinterest, the pandemic, etc.—and still struggle with it. I honestly would have dropped out of school two years ago if I were better and known a blue-collar job like plumber, mechanic, electrician, etc. They pay good money in my country, but every craftsman is an asshole who sees their apprentices as robots. My parents also pushed me to the academy because they were scared I would get abused there—they were sort of right.