this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2026
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Relationship Advice

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I am feeling insecure and scared right now. My husband of ten years and I have been separated for about a year. Things are up and down but we've been seeing a therapist. He has a history of aggressive driving. Today, he was driving fast, then passed a slower car in a no passing zone going 30 MPH over the speed limit. It scared me. When I said something, his initial response was "either I passed them or I was going to be angry behind them the entire time", then later that he should have warned me first. No apology.

I felt uncomfortable so I asked him to pull over. He did, and I explained I felt unsafe so I'd be more comfortable if I drove for awhile. He refused and told me "I just don't care about your safety or comfort right now", then explained it was because he was angry with me about something that happened earlier. What. The. Fuck. He's angry so my safety isn't important? Fuck you, dude.

I told him I'd get a ride to my house and left the car. He got angry and called me ridiculous and melodramatic, ordering me to get back in the car like I was a child. I started to walk away so he yelled insults at me and ridiculed me. I was so embarrassed. My friend picked me up and took me home.

My car is still at his house. He texts me later, telling we he'll move it to a nearby street and tape the key to the wheel well. I ask him not to and he ignores me. Then he says that he's thinking he might stop therapy after "my behavior". That's right: this motherfucker is mad at ME for walking away when he said he didn't care about my safety after I tell him his driving is scaring me. He didn't apologize for any of this beyond "I'm sorry things went the way they did", then began texting about his hurt feelings.

I was writing this to ask for a sanity check but after reading it I know I'm now getting a divorce. Fuck.

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[–] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

You'll feel a lot better if you end things and never talk to this person again. The relief of not having to anticipate an abusive partner's mood swings is amazing. Yeah you have to grieve over the broken relationship but that's better than maybe dying in a car crash waiting for him to change (he won't, not for you anyway).

[–] AHamSandwich@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago

Fuck. All of these comments helped, but yours nailed it. It's exactly right. I cried a little.

I'm tired of the mood swings, the walking on egg shells, being told what was said to be okay one day is now bad the next so he's now angry with me.

This just happened too! I was running late for an appointment on Friday and let him know. I didn't ask him to, but he did some chores for me. I thanked him and got a "we're partners and we support each other". Come Sunday, he's angry I was late and he "had to do those chores for me". He didn't. I CANNOT wait to divorce this bastard.