this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2026
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I think that's what the other commenter was kind of getting at. Fighting is something forceful and unhinged, putting in effort is the more appropriate way to put it in my eyes.
I agree. To me "fighting" implies that there are forces trying to end the relationship, against which you must fight.
But that just isn't the case in good relationships IMO. Yes some amount of effort is often required, and not every day can feel like the honeymoon phase, but the relationship has never felt adversarial.
I don't doubt that for some relationships, "fight" is probably an accurate phrase. But I don't think it should be seen as normal or expected of every relationship.
If cancer is taking the life of your mate are you just "putting in effort" against cancer? This a part of what can happen in a relationship. "Fighting for the relationship" doesn't necessarily mean against each other. It can mean against society, against nature even.
Yes, im not forcing my mate to fight because stress and anger makes you less healthy. Fighting is some american bs they think everything is better when you fight, it's not actual helpful usage of the word fight.
Cancer is trying to kill you. The opposite of "fighting" is "surrender". Its useful in that context for a fight against cancer. Not considering that as a threat that needs to be fought seems fatalistic. To each their own.
It's not, it's your own body's cells that "forgot" their not supposed to grow too much. They're just trying to grow. But idk a lot of humans seem to need some "enemy" to fight. You just don't have to look at the world that way. It's a very americanized way of looking at things.
It's cell banditry.
If that helps you to look at it that way as you watch your loved one grow weaker and wither away, more power to you. I don't know if you've had a loved one that has gone through this, but I really do believe its a fight because at the lowest point it is much easier to give up and die than endure some of the horrible pain that comes along with this kind of...for you I'll call it a "condition" instead of a fight. The person with cancer has to choose to continue to struggle against their own body trying to kill itself, and its not a choice like deciding what color shirt to wear that day. The gravity and impact of the decisions, and the endurance of the pain are much closer to a "fight" than any other word I can think of.
Again, though, if it helps you to see it as some calm or nature process that isn't a fight, continue to do that for yourself.
Yes i watched my father die from cancer over two years thanks for reminding me
I'm sorry for your father's passing. With that, I'm surprised that you chose to step into a conversation about cancer if the topic is still so sensitive to you.
Lol idk what point you're trying to make anymore, you keep attributing to me things that i never said and aren't true.
I'm looking through our past posts to one another. I'm not seeing any place where I attributed something to you you didn't say. I'm happy to be corrected if you want to point a place out.
You and I have been having a conversation about a single point. You don't like the word "fight" when referring to cancer, which is fine. You're not required to use it. I disagree with you, but thats it. There's no force occurring here. I have no power over you (or desire to make you do something you don't want to do). I'm defending my use of the word for this context.
It looks like you're in a downvoting mood now, so we can just stop the conversation with one another. I'm fine with that too. If you want the same, I hope you have a great day. Also, I am truly sorry about your father.
Where's the mis-attribution you're seeing?
You said : "Yes i watched my father die from cancer over two years thanks for reminding me".
Did you or did you not start conversing in an existing convesation about cancer? Are you or are you not upset about being reminded about cancer because of the passing of your father as you said? How else could I interpret your statement about being reminded about your father passing?
You said: "thanks for reminding me”
That indicates it is painful to you to be reminded. Is that not sensitivity?
Again I never wrote painful or sensitive, you keep adding your own words in your head to my comments you read. If your use of words is always this carelesss, it would explain why you don't understand my point about the word fight.
Can I ask if English is a second language to you? The words you chose have meanings that indicate pain or sensitivity.
If you don't mean pain or sensitivity, what are you trying to communicate with your "thanks for reminding me” retort? You're saying right now you don't mean it is a painful or sensitive subject, which is how most of the English speaking world uses the phrase you used. What do you mean instead?
I mean youre an ass for assuming i never saw someone die of cancer because i dont see it the same way you do
Thanks has a meaning of gratitude by the way. And yes english is my first language, another dumb assumption you read out of my comment by adding words in your head
It does, but not in the sarcastic manor you used it, unless you're HAPPY to be reminded of your father's cancer. As an English speaker as first language, you know that too, so I don't know why you're doubling down on pedantry now.
You're saying I should have assumed you've seen someone die of cancer? You accuse me of making assumptions and now you're accusing me of NOT making assumptions.
You're all over the place! You give evasive answers when you get a direct question. I've been patient trying to see if we can communicate. You're rewarding that patience with vitriol. I can't tell if you're a bot, if you're arguing in bad faith, or just trolling.
Regardless of which it is, its clear we're not communicating, and I don't have faith you are interested in seeing that change. I'm done with this conversation. I hope you have a nice day.
No im saying you should not have assumed anything about the anonymous person on the internet you're replying to.
At this point I can't tell if you're actually this unaware or engaging on sophistry so have a great rest of your life.
You are fighting, because there is a force (cancer) which is actively working against you. There should not usually be any forces actively working against your relationship though, so I wouldn't call it a fight.
We're agreeing. Fighting is an appropriate word choice here against cancer.
There shouldn't be, but humanity seems to invent them frequently. There can be external forces working against the relationship. It could be something as benign as excessive responsibilities at work robbing time from the relationship, financial challenges for basic needs (food, clothing, housing), or perhaps difficulties with child care (especially for children with special needs). For some it could be society pressures such as your community disapproving of your relationship because of differences in race or religion. It could even be state sponsored forces such as laws against homosexuality or trans people.