this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
33 points (97.1% liked)

askchapo

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33
Flirting (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 day ago by electric_nan@lemmy.ml to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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Hi friends. Is it fucked up to flirt with someone with no intention of taking it further? I'm in a long-term monogamous relationship. Sometimes I crave a little validation from strangers. I'm not going to cheat on my partner, but I do have a need to feel desirable to others. I don't feel like a bit of flirting is a betrayal of my relationship, but I'm less confident about how other people feel. Like, I don't want to waste someone else's time, but I guess maybe I am leading people on a bit if I chat with them without mentioning my partner.

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[โ€“] vovchik_ilich@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I've also craved validation within a relationship because of self-esteem problems and relationship problems and it led me to very bad decisions that I deeply regret. I know this advice is uncalled for and I'm likely projecting, but ask yourself if you're lacking something within the relationship that leads you to wanting this external validation, or whether no amount of intra-relationship validation will be enough and you crave for the new thing.

[โ€“] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 2 points 16 hours ago

Thanks for the reply. I definitely have some lifelong self-esteem/image issues. Like a lot of my other shortcomings, I've tried to become more accepting of them over the years.