this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2026
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A Boring Dystopia
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Get a blue vest, and go down the aisles taking them down. You aren't damaging anything or stealing anything, just making it less valuable for their bottom line.
I can count 10 misdemeanors alone you could get for doing this if you refuse to leave after being tased and pepper-sprayed by security.
Absolutely, if you do something I didn't suggest doing that would probably be an issue. That's why I didn't suggest doing that.
Misdemeanors are harmless
If they tase and pepper spray you before asking you to leave, you go to the local magistrate and take out assault charges against the individual, and then sue the company.
(It's still illegal to assault someone after telling them to leave, but they have more options. They could get creative then, detain you on suspicion of shoplifting. But they can't physically hold you. What they would do is tell you that if you walk, they will charge you with some bullshit. But if you stay, they will just ban you from the store and make it official. The risk there is, as soon as the cops show up, they can say that they asked you to leave an hour ago and you're still there. If it's me, I'm not sticking around, nor providing them with identification, and if they try to lay hands, I will defend myself. But I'm also not a vandal.)
Better to wear a short sleeve button down and a tie with a clipboard.
Clipboard is a skeleton key and will let you do just about anything.