this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
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Where does this deception you keep harping on even come into it? There is no deception in flirting with someone even if you don't plan to form a romantic relationship with them. It's just playful banter, it's not a promise to take it any further than the flirtation itself. The fact that you default to flirtation without a desire to take it further as being some form of deception is what makes it sound like you think there is something transactionable about it. It makes it sound like if someone flirts with you, that you then have an expectation of them that they want to go further than just flirting, when that need not be the case.
Just as flirting doesn't bind anyone to to do anything later either. So again, where is the deception in flirting with someone when you don't actually want to pursue a relationship with them? I would guess that most flirtation doesn't mean the person initiating it is seeking anything more. You talk about baseline respect, but I think flirtation is inherently respectful when done right, it is giving another person positive affirmations.
If an omission would change someone else's behavior, it seems deceptive.
read OP again.
monogamous relationship OP is asking about flirting with people for some kind of external validation with no intention of disclosing relationship status or unavailability.
this is directly and explicitly deceiving and using the unwitting person.
Aaaaaand we have another person infected with incel thought. Flirting usually just isn't about hooking up, people do this as courtesy or to be nice all the time. Thinking anything else IS transactional reasoning that sees everything as bargaining in the sexual marketplace. Gross. Gross. Gross.