this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2026
36 points (100.0% liked)
disabled
286 readers
2 users here now
Welcome to c/disabled, an anticapitalist community for disabled people/people with disability(s).
What is disability justice? Disability justice is a framework of activism which centers disabled people of multiple intersections. Before participating in in this community, please read the Ten Principles of Disability Justice.
Do I count as disabled/a person with disability(s)? "Disability" is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Follow the Rules:
- This comm is open to everyone. However, the megathread is only open to people who self-identify as disabled/a person with disability(s). We center the experiences of disabled people here, and if you are abled we ask that you please respect that.
- Follow the principles of disability justice, as outlined in the link above.
- Zero tolerance for ableism. That includes lateral ableism. Ableism will result in a ban.
- No COVID minimization.
- Do not offer unsoliticed health advice. We do not want to hear about the wonders of exercise or meditation, thank you very much. Additionally, do not moralize health or "healthy choices".
- If posting an image, please write an image description for our blind/low vision comrades. (If doing this is inaccessible to you, DM one of the mods and we will help.)
- Please CW and spoiler tag discussions of ableism.
- When it comes to identify-first vs person-first language, respect the language that people choose for themselves. If someone wants to be referred to as a disabled person, respect that. If someone wants to be referred to as a person with a disability, respect that.
- Try to avoid using ableist language. It is always good to be mindful of the way language has been used to oppress and harm people.
- Follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct.
Let's kick back and have fun!
As of December 2025, there is a Matrix Chat Room that adheres to the same rules as the community. If you want to join, it is an invite only server. Just knock to join. Should you have trouble with the link, you can contact the mods for help: https://matrix.to/#/#Hexbear_Disabled_and_ND:matrix.org
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
The world may sometimes outpace our ability to keep up with it, but we are still here, and we are all catching up on the things we need to. Wishing you all another two weeks of the ability to rest, and - if possible - to catch up on the things that are important to you. Love you all <3
Friendly reminder to please use
for sensitive content that falls under Hexbear's Code of Conduct. You can find the spoiler tag here:
spoiler tags and content warnings [cw]
Hexbear CoC
Alt Text of image
Alt text of image: a screenshot of a comment box and its editing options, with a dark theme, grey and dark grey background with white text. A skinny white arrow points to the "spoiler" option, which is an exclamation point inside of a diamond, and the 13th or second-from-the-last icon in the middle of the photo and at the top of the light grey comment box that reads "Type here to comment..." in white italic font
After clicking it, substitute the second "spoiler" with your content warning and the three underscores ( ___ ) with your sensitive content.
As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:
"Disability" is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
partner issues (gave up on disguising it), ableism(?). Journaling.
Someone close to me recently said in regards to interpersonal behavior "ok you have autism, get over it" knowing I'm autistic (lightly effected, probably audhd). It wasn't directed at me exactly but we're having some arguments and it wasn't not directed at me, if that makes sense. They can say things just to be mean when arguing and have admitted to bullying me.They've also said they don't believe in "isms" anymore, and people just have their life circumstances. It's like a vulgar social model of mental illness/neurodivergence. The opposite of the individualized "chemical imbalance" approach. It seems just as flawed. This is all quite puzzling because it's new, and she's educated in both psychology and biology.
They're prone to motivated reasoning and i wonder if this helps them deny their own conditions. (They've been diagnosed with GAD in the past and everyone we know agrees anxiety negatively effects them) Recently they said they don't have disordered anxiety they just have a stressful life. But, for example, going to the grocery store, even with me so no one accosts her, is a stressful experience for them. My point that it "shouldn't be" didn't really land.
Recently they broke up with the other partner (also autistic) and I think this turn is related to that. Most in my circle think it was a callous and unnecessary move.
It's all very confusing. We have our first couples counseling appt v soon. They were reluctant to join sessions at first even though they've pushed me into therapy a lot, saying "I've been a saint in this relationship." Which, no. (I have sessions and have benefited from them, but idk if it's helpful when my partner is telling me what kind of work I should be doing in them and what I need to work on).
I don't say this lightly but they may have BPD? It's problematic of me to bring up, I'm no expert, but I shouldn't sell myself short. I'm just now considering it as a framework for understanding their behavior. I think letting them cause me to question my instincts (even though I've been accused of gaslighting!) is part of why we've had issues for so long. Everytime I talk to my support network for feedback they confirm my own feelings. I do my best to relay things objectively. Anyway, part of why it's problematic is bcuz they have a history of telling me I have various conditions or traits, with psychiatric language, Narcissism, psycho/sociopathy (can't remember which), ODD.
IDK, this is tough.
It's good you shared this and analyzed what's been going on. From what you say, I agree with your other relations; it doesn't sound like you're at fault for all of this. Whether it's BPD or not, your partner's behavior doesn't sound fair to you, and I think your instincts are right about this. It's never okay to dismiss other people's conditions, but it is concerning your partner doesn't believe their own conditions are real.
As to a solution, I don't have one, but I do think the couple's counseling is a good step. Take care of yourself