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Looking for advice: toddler is hurting her Grandma (thelemmy.club)

submitted 2 days ago by philanthropicoctopus@thelemmy.club to c/parenting@lemmy.world

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Hi everyone

Proud girldad of a beautiful 1 year old here. Life is good and I now love being a father.

We are just having one problem. She attacks her Grandma and leaves nasty scratches on her face. We aren't sure how to proceed.

What we do currently is if she attacks, we firmly say "no, we don't treat grandma like that" and then encourage gentle touch. It's not working.

We are firmly against physical discipline, we tried time out once but she went mental, possibly she's too young for time out.

Can you tell we're first time parents? Haha

Any advice would be appreciated

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[–] David_Eight@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Kids will "go mental" some times, this is unavoidable and you need to accept that to some extent.

If she's hurting Grandma, remove her from Grandma and say "I'm not going to let you hurt Grandma" and if she goes mental sit quietly with her till she is calm. In that state she can not be reasoned with no matter how hard you try, so don't. When she's calm explain what she did to hurt Grandma. This needs to be done immediately after she hurts Grandma, not later. Kids that age can not link past behavior to future punishment.

Kids also find it easier to understand what to do vs what not not do. Show her how you want her to play instead of telling her what not to do.

As far as time outs go consistency is everything. If you're consistent it will get easier over time. General do 1 minute for how old they are. 1 year old = q minute of timeout, 7 years old = 7 minutes.