Parenting

3333 readers

31 users here now

A place to talk about parenting.

Be respectful of others' parenting decisions.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

Tot@lemmy.world

Looking for advice: toddler is hurting her Grandma (thelemmy.club)

submitted 2 days ago by philanthropicoctopus@thelemmy.club to c/parenting@lemmy.world

10 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hi everyone

Proud girldad of a beautiful 1 year old here. Life is good and I now love being a father.

We are just having one problem. She attacks her Grandma and leaves nasty scratches on her face. We aren't sure how to proceed.

What we do currently is if she attacks, we firmly say "no, we don't treat grandma like that" and then encourage gentle touch. It's not working.

We are firmly against physical discipline, we tried time out once but she went mental, possibly she's too young for time out.

Can you tell we're first time parents? Haha

Any advice would be appreciated

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

First of all, you should understand that she isn't doing this out of malice. As far as I understand, she only does that with Grandma. Does she even want to be with her? Maybe that's just her way of showing that she doesn't want to.

If being with her isn't the problem, is Grandma doing something she doesn't like? Noises, tickling, holding her in a way she doesn't like, something like that?

It’s also possible that the first time was an accident and that Grandma’s reaction caught her interest. Now she wants to experience that reaction again, and maybe she does. "Grandma makes funny faces or funny noises when I do that." Tell Grandma to just not react in any way and take your daughter away. You’re already telling her that it’s not okay. It’s best to say this using same words you use when your daughter gets hurt.

There’s no need for a punishment like a timeout when she does that. But there can be consequences, which, unlike punishment, have a direct, logical connection. If she hurts Grandma she just can't be with her anymore. Give her something to play with, like building blocks or a puzzle, or whatever she's playing with these days.