this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2026
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I aspire to have my funeral wind up like the church scene in the first Kingsman movie.
Getting face, back and body shots by a British secret agent?
Where do I sign?
Ugh, it was his final wish; here goes! Proceeds to double tap the priest first, because they've been using magic to convert bread and wine into flesh and blood for decades. Don't want to turn my back to them during a fight.
Priest instantly turns into a bottle of Rosé and some ciabatta
It is soon discovered that 90% of the Church hierarchy is artificially-created bread-and-wine homunculi.
Oh snap I'm about to carb up and get a buzz. Thank you good sir.
I'd like to think the Priest's "Bread/Wine convert to Flesh/Blood" also works in reverse offensively. As in a priest can cast this spell on a living person and turn them into a loaf of rye and a bottle of Merlot.
My favorite part is the one extra in the background just waving a chair around
I just wanted a raging party with great food. My dreams have been too small.