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[-] bozaloshtsh@lemmy.world -1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

they can’t find a girl because of deeply rooted, misogynistic beliefs that turn people off

People aren't born with misogynistic beliefs. They also aren't taught them in school.

also like to see your citation for wage stagnation affecting men more than women

I'm not going to google search for you, but it's pretty easy to see that wage stagnation affects men more because traditionally, men are expected to be the provider for the household and women have traditionally had the option of not starting a career and just finding a man instead. I'm not saying that women are not affected, but they have an economic "out" that men generally don't have.

I know many, many men who aren’t the strong hunter gatherer type and have loving wives or girlfriends. The difference is those guys aren’t assholes.

I'm willing to bet that they also have stable jobs. Also, if you're one of them of course you'd know a bunch of other men who are similar; this says nothing about a large swath of men that the grandparent comment is referring to.

[-] xuxebiko@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

the "strong hunter gatherer type" of life died out centuries ago.
those who want to live as "strong hunter gatherer" due to their "because traditionally" mindset should either join https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunter-gatherer#Modern_hunter-gatherer_groups or give up civilization and live their life in the wild.

if "because traditonally" thinking is creating incels, then these men should choose to get professional therapy to change their mindset rather than choosing toxic masculinity and becoming incels.

[-] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

People aren't born with any beliefs. What's your explanation for racism, homophobia, fascism, and other hateful views and behavior? People learn that stuff by their environment growing up, and there's an awful lot of toxic masculinity.

And you're argument about poverty and wage stagnation would make more sense if there weren't so many poor people in happy marriages.

No, I hear your argument, but it doesn't seem to hold water to me. The simpler answer is that some men are taught to believe shitty things growing up. Those shitty things lead to shitty behaviors that cause people not to be around them. The worst ones are the ones who believe men should be dominant over women, but are also timid or introverted, making them angry pressure cookers.

[-] rocketeer8015@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I think his point was that it’s ok for a woman to not earn much without it impacting her attractiveness to men, while the reverse isn’t true. There is a reason why rich millionaire falling in love with poor woman is a romance novel trope while not so much the other way around.

Finances are part of the attraction in a male if looking for actual relationships. You ain’t not gonna impress a woman flipping burgers at McD while men don’t care what a woman’s job is if she’s pretty and fun to be around.

[-] Clbull@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Couldn't have said it better myself.

I am not defending the manosphere, and I think that the rampant misogyny you see in these online subcultures is downright alarming.

People aren’t born with misogynistic beliefs. They also aren’t taught them in school.

I'd say it gets passed around by word-of-mouth. A lot of the problematic stuff I was exposed to earlier in life definitely came from fellow pupils at school, who likely picked it up from their families. The rise of social media only makes it easier to find problematic stuff, especially since it's proliferated so much on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, etc.

Social media companies are to blame for getting people hooked on this crap, and we are to blame for happily lapping it up and preaching the words of people like Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro, Sneako, etc like they're gospel.

Tate is meant to be banned from mainstream social media, yet I see his videos all the freaking time on YouTube, Instagram, etc. And that's because these media giants cannot be bothered to purge the thousands of affiliate accounts (linked to his MLM) that are regurgitating his content.

I’m not going to google search for you, but it’s pretty easy to see that wage stagnation affects men more because traditionally, men are expected to be the provider for the household and women have traditionally had the option of not starting a career and just finding a man instead. I’m not saying that women are not affected, but they have an economic “out” that men generally don’t have.

That, and women are generally treated more favourably in cases of family/divorce law, are able to far more easily go into modelling/adult entertainment, get far greater maternity leave rights (at least in the UK), etc.

Online dating (I am referring exclusively to the heterosexual experience and cannot speak for other experiences) is also a very good example of this. Men struggle to even get any matches or replies that aren't from scammers, spam bots or people on the other side of the world unless they look like Ryan Gosling or Josh Hartnett, while women are inundated with matches and have to be far more selective.

Okcupid did a trend analysis of their user data and found that women rated 80% of men below-average in terms of attractiveness. This link is obviously archived, because after Okcupid got acquired by Match Group (same people who own Tinder, Match.com, Hinge, POF and a lot of other dating apps), they deleted the blog post because these kinds of statistics hurt their bottom-line.

Then again, I also subscribe to the theory that online dating is designed to be such a soul-crushing experience because how else are Match Group going to lull you into spending over triple the price of a WoW subscription on a premium account?

this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2023
261 points (97.8% liked)

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