I wear UGG boots in winter because it's fucking cold.
I also wrap myself in a blanket on the couch, and have a lovely area rug so I don't have to walk on a cold floor. All these things are necessary to survive the winter; my house isn't well insulated.
The problem with all this, is that I build up a static charge. So when I go to pat my beautiful sweetheart of a dog, I zap him. It's audible and I'm sure, quite unpleasant. Often on the head. He obviously doesn't like that, I think he's taking it personally, and I feel awful. It completely cancels out the affection I'm trying to show him.
So the question for the Lemmy community is:
How do I discharge the static before I pat my dog? I have started shocking my partner (which he doesn't like, but accepts over the alternative), before patting my dog. But as he's out tonight, I have no human vessel to offer as tribute?
What can I touch in my house before patting my dog so that he doesn't receive a shock?
Edit: standard Australian house and furniture
Another edit: I'm all the sheets to the wind so the engineering advice is not sinking in. But I'm loving the immediate response that I'd never have gotten on Deaddit.
Again: I can't stop giggling at how helpful everyone is being and how short m, drunk and silly I am, in a house with apparently no metal
And again: I should probably take me and my baby to bed now, but a big thank you to everyone who replied. You've all been lovely. Lemmy is really a different space to ask these questions! I'll be trying out many of your suggestions over the weekend; big thanks from me and my boy x
Final: thanks to everyone who responded. I did try the kitchen tap again last night and this time it worked! Mustn't have built up enough charge when I tried the night I posted. I will still primarily zap my partner's leg as it's usually closer and doing it makes me laugh. It's important he understands where he fits in the household hierarchy as well. I also learnt that American houses are very different (screws and radiators everywhere!) so that was interesting too.
I too live in a hilariously dry climate in the winter and become a human lightning rod for several months at a time. Here’s what helped me: a quarter! I carry a quarter in my pocket all winter to touch to metal (I deeply hate getting shocked myself, especially the huge static charges). You’ll need something made of metal that is grounded, though. We have metal shelves or the aforementioned light switch screws. You can also look for screws on your washing machine, doorknob, dishwasher, sink, etc. Anything with a little metal should work. Then - touch the quarter to it, hear (but don’t feel) the zap, and enjoy your dog with no fear. Hope you can find something metallic somewhere in your home!
None of my things have accessible screws!! I'm in Australia so no quarters... And I'm not sure I even have physical currency in the house (Australia is pretty cash free these days (.
Fuck, I am just loving these responses. Everyone is so lovely.
You could also get a DIY power cable (the type where you screw the plug to the leads yourself). There you only connect the ground contact and not the live and neutral contacts. Now strip the end of the ground wire and place it where ever you want to be able to discharge yourself.
Alternatively, you can do about the same by just connecting a wire to any unpainted part of your radiators.
Jesus fuck... That's a lot of science
No radiators
We don't do proper heating in this cuntry
What about water pipes? Got any of them somewhat near to your couch?
You could also just buy a metal-cased lamp and maybe ask at the shop whether the metal casing is grounded. Usually it is.
Noop. My house is made of fabricated nonsense and plastic
Then the only grounded location that I can think of is the ground pin of an electric outlet.
Do you have a somewhat technically minded friend? Making a cable like the one I suggested is literally as simple as screwing in a handful of screws. So if you know anyone who'd be willing to make it, it's not much effort at all.
I guess you’ll have to build a giant metal effigy in the center of your home at this point. Or become a wizard to better channel your new magical energies. It’s really your call now.
Bless you. Go with noodles