675
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Kata1yst@kbin.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

WASHINGTON—Shedding light on the enduring appeal behind assault rifle ownership, a Pew study released Monday revealed that more Americans were buying AR-15s to defend themselves from toddlers who found their guns. “Many Americans stressed that they felt safer knowing they had an AR-15 at the ready in case their toddler stumbled across a shoebox holding a loaded gun on the floor of a closet and started firing away,” said researcher Jonathan Lieu, noting that the majority of AR-15 owners told his team they purchased the lightweight rifle due to their recurring fears about waking in the night to their 2-year-old giggling as they shot bullet holes through the bedroom door. “One response we often heard was that it was a Second Amendment right for gun owners to defend themselves against their own young children. They also stressed that a baseball bat or pepper spray simply wasn’t enough firepower to take down their gun-toting kids.” Lieu added that many Americans also rushed out to purchase tear gas grenades after their children inevitably got their hands on the AR-15s.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] genoxidedev1@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

I was recently deciding if I want to put the onion in my RSS feed for daily news consumption

[-] OpenStars@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

I can see the tagline now:

The only "honest" source of "news"!

(In my head, only one of those two words are in quotes at any one time, but I dunno, maybe they flip back and forth rapidly like a chemical double bond?:-P)

this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2023
675 points (97.2% liked)

The Onion

4435 readers
853 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS