Oh bonne mère du bon Dieu, qu'est-ce que tu viens de dire sur moi ? Je te ferais remarquer que j'ai fini premier dans ma classe de CAP de boulangerie à Navarrenx, et j'ai gagné de nombreuses fois le prix de la meilleure baguette du Béarn, et j'ai plus de 300 citations dans la République des Pyrénées. J'ai reçu une spécialisation en pâtisserie et fait un stage dans un grand restaurant étoilé. Pour moi tu n'es qu'un client parmi d'autres. Je te vendrai des chocolatines comme tu t'en n'en as jamais goûté, souviens t'en. Tu crois que tu peux t'en sortir avec ce genre d'insultes sur l'Internet ? Essaie encore, gros balourd. Pendant que nous discutons, je suis en train de contacter mon réseau de maisons du pain dans tout la France et ton identité est partagée, donc tu peux te préparer à une avalanche de gâteaux, gros malin. Une avalanche qui va te faire prendre 10kg. Tu vas devenir obèse mon ptit gars.

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

*pain au chocolat

[–] Mr_Blott@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Fucksake calm down, that's worse than the Israel/Palestine thing just now

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I know very little French but I’m assuming this is a well-localized version of the Navy Seal copypasta

[–] aceshigh@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

unsure if this is right but here's the translation -

Oh good mother of God, what did you just say about me? I would point out to you that I finished first in my CAP bakery class in Navarrenx, and I have won the prize for the best baguette in Béarn many times, and I have more than 300 citations in the Republic of the Pyrenees . I received a specialization in pastry and did an internship in a large Michelin-starred restaurant. For me, you are just another customer. I will sell you chocolatines like you've never tasted before, remember that. Do you think you can get away with this kind of insults on the Internet? Try again, you big idiot. As we chat, I'm contacting my network of bread houses across France and your identity is shared, so you can prepare for an avalanche of cakes, smart guy. An avalanche that will make you gain 10kg. You're going to become obese, my little guy.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Mondy yeah, this is really well localized

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Too late, you're French now. Get your baguette and start disparaging other nations, and other French, too.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Merde

Now seriously, I am about 25 km from France right now. Thanks, Napoleon

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Bel effort, mais ça change à l'anglais à mi-chemin...

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 years ago (2 children)

J'a mardé

[–] HurlingDurling@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

Lol

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Incertain si Français ou Québécois vu que c'est un mélange entre "J'ai merdé" et "marde" qui est Québécois 🤔

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Malgré le "chocolatine" aussi utilisé au Québec, je pense que cette personne est du sud ouest.

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ils utilisent "marde" au sud ouest de la France?

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Je sais pas mais il parle aussi du Béarn et des Pyrénées donc bon.

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 years ago

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

In quebequois du Sud? Donc un américain. Ok je sors.

[–] helios@social.ggbox.fr 2 points 2 years ago

gros balourd

Tout mais pas le b-word !

[–] TunaCowboy@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago (3 children)

France has one of the best military records of all time:

the French participated in 50 of the 125 major European wars that have been fought since 1495; more than any other European state.

In addition, out of all recorded conflicts which occurred since the year 387 BC, France has fought in 168 of them, won 109, lost 49 and drawn 10.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Armed_Forces#History

[–] sdoorex@slrpnk.net 33 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No, you don’t get it. They’re not cheese-eating surrender-monkeys because of their military record but because…

checks notes

… they didn’t support the unjustified invasion of Iraq.

Devours a basket of chili cheese freedom fries

[–] FrostbyteIX@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Anyone else read this in Groundskeeper Willie's voice too?

[–] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago

I did, but that's because it was a groundskeeper Willie line

[–] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

They also, for a while, literally had a white flag as a national flag.

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 39 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Thats the bro they get their weed from and regularly invites them together for a sesh. Single handedly keeping the peace in the building. Real guru that one.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 13 points 2 years ago

Fuck that guy, don't sell to rebs.

[–] irdc@derp.foo 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Apparently this is what makes someone turn neutral.

[–] Blackout@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I hope they’re not one of those fascism-leaning “centrists”

[–] irdc@derp.foo 1 points 2 years ago

“Beige shirts”