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this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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chapotraphouse
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Im not in college, but I like to think im relatively young still (im in my late 20s) so I did try a few apps last year right after a rough breakup.
I hate it, I didnt match with anyone and if I did, it was a spam bot. I ran more luck hanging out at a dive bar near the waterfront (took the train to it btw).
Hanging out at dive bars alone has never been super good to me but I think I might have just been going to the wrong places (too many old creeps). Even at the shitty bar I was going to the other year I did meet one cool person, but I was so caught off guard it fizzled after chatting for a bit.
Idk. I've always felt like nobody ever taught me how to chat up strangers (and I honestly for a long time felt people my age just simply didn't do that anymore... now I'm not so sure), but otoh learning from my older family members would've probably just taught me to be a sex pest so I guess its for the best that I have to figure it out myself as an adult.
The dive bar I go to is a gamble, some days its a lot of old creeps, some days its super polite travellers passing through for a quick drink. It being so close to a major train station may kind of play a hand into why a lot of the latter show up.
I once met another nb at the dive bar. Super funny, charming, they thought I was the cutest person ever~ even showed me a couple of new cocktails and introduced me to sewerslvt. They too were passing through by train, just going towards Seattle (I was taking inter-city service). Before we parted ways, we hugged. I regret not getting their contact, I was scared asking them for that might come off as creepy.
Nice!
No train service worth a damn where I am and I'm not about to go find a dive bar near the airport lol but yeah. I just don't love crowds is part of the problem. There are more young/not creepy people when the place is busy but packed bar karaoke just isn't my vibe especially not solo lol. There are some maybe-cooler places in a different part of town tbh, so maybe I'll go down that way eventually
I'd kill to live somewhere that public transit is decent + some kind of third space where people who I find cool (and who would find me cool) just hang out randomly