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this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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chapotraphouse
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I met my wife on a dating site before it was bought several times over and enshittified each time. I lucked out by way of timing where the techbros didn't yet refine and perfect the process of making the site retain users as its priority over actually helping people find other people.
Dating sites were actually pretty decent before tinder set ablaze to them all. I had a lot of success when i could just message anyone on the site and the second it became tinder it just stopped working.
Some of the most annoying takes I saw on Hexbear about that were "actually because people complained about online dating when it started, online dating is exactly as good and bad as it has always been dae le ancients complained about dae le youths"![emoji smuglord smuglord](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/97a4a756-428f-4517-846a-1c810805ad28.png)
It is worse and it sucks for those that use it now.
I imagine the scope of it makes things worse as well. Like when there are only a few compatible people in your area you'd just go fuck it and go on a few dates. When there are hundreds of dating "resumes" to sift through there's probably all sorts of emergent behaviour that's tough to account for. Hell, just the genetal idea of it gives me anxiety.
I got married before the "swipe" thing really took off.
I don't think I'd be able to handle it. It sounds obnoxious and dehumanizing.
The ones trying to do more traditional compatibility dating still have that aspect and it feels even more insane. There's one that targets more careerist types and I have a feeling everyone on there is just Patrick Bateman.
those types seem to be pretty common on most dating apps as it is. like even on Tinder which is supposed to be a hook-up app for the most part