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raptur(ul)e
(eattherich.club)
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this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Because rapturing doesn't stain leather. It's just a ridiculous notion.
As a licensed rapturologist I can verify that rapture events do leave stains on organic material. It's the same miraculo-chemical process that burns Jesus' face into the toast of true believers.
Evidence: Shroud of Turin
Checkmate Atheists
Unironically this is a pretty good piece of "evidence" - don't get me wrong rapturing isn't real, but we're talking about internal consistency here, not reality - if rapturing is real, then the Shroud of Turin is real, which means that the marks left on it must be typical for divine dissappearing acts 🤷🏼♂️
If the Shroud was genuine, someone from the UK would have put baked beans on it.
Checkmate, theists
wot?! How so?
It's a joke about how religious people keep claiming to see Jesus' face on toast and how baked beans on toast is the UK equivalent of a PB&J sandwich
Why not? It’s like saying, “Witches don’t exist, but if they did, it’s ridiculous to think that they can make love potions.” I would even go so far as to say leaving “shadows” behind is a standard part of rapture lore.
I guess I’m just a lot less confident about how rapture physics works than some folks.