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this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2023
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Showerthoughts
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one of my fav light bulb jokes..
how many germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
one because they are efficient and without humor.
MANY HANS MAKE LIGHT WORK!
Thanks to you, I have overdrawn my Tageslachkontingent and will either have to compensate by laughing less tomorrow or filling out a Tageslachkontingenterhöhungsantrag.
Bevor sie ihren Tageslachkontingenterhöhungsantrag abgeben können müssen sie mit dem Formular 36A erstmal zu Frau Maier gehen und sich die Sondertageslachkontingentbewerbungsunterlagen ausstellen lassen. Damit kommen sie dann bitte wieder zu mir und wir schauen dann mal.
I am sad that I must uplike this comment
You sonovabitch... It's beautiful!
Just one? You underestimate german bureaucracy, Freundchen.
Yeah, funny story:
I work for the government and once during an inspection they noticed that a light on the roof our building needed to be replaced.
What should be a 5 minute task took many months. Why? Safety rules state that only roofers are allowed to enter the roof, but only electricians are allowed to work on anything that has to do with electricity which includes changing a light bulb. So we had to wait a couple of months for one of the electricians to get certified as a person that can enter the roof.
Last winter, in order to protect the ~~dwindling~~ completely full strategic gas reserves, the government issued an order for all govenment-owned office buildings to limit the central heating to no more than 19° C because that seemed to be the most pointlessly bureaucratic solution at the time.
This included buildings that don't even use gas for heating. Remote heat? Geothermal heat? Free waste heat that you have to actively vent to the atmosphere in order to lower the room temperature? Yep, all required to not exceed 19° C. The building I worked in at the time (for a company that rented some excess floor space) actually wasted energy adhering to this well thought-out rule.
So yeah, I'd say that in order to change a lightbulb you need at least 1000 Germans. You need both chambers of parliament to create and pass a new ordinance that applies specifically to this lightbulb (and several other contexts it has no business applying to but does because it's too vaguely worded). Then you need at least three different expert panels to advise the government, regulatory agencies to make sure the ordinance is adhered to, licensed trainers to make sure the people executing the job are formally certified to do so... Actually, we might have to get the European Parliament involved; the new ordinance might benefit from being propoted to a European standard.
I'll get back to you about this in about three to five years; we need to get this figured out.