949
Choose wisely! (i.imgur.com)

(shamelessly stolen from an imgur dump)

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] Clbull@lemmy.world 41 points 9 months ago

2 and 3 without question.

You'd make ludicrous money from the construction industry with an unlimited supply of gravel, while being able to teleport 7 inches would be useful for break-ins.

[-] captainjaneway@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

It depends. Is 7" measured from the center of my body to the next location? Or is it measured from the tip of the front of my body and the back of my body will end up 7" away from that position? Because the former would likely be useless for breaking into places. My body would make up the majority of the travel distance. I basically would only have 1"-3" or teleport distance to work with. Most walls wouldn't even work.

As someone else said, if I could spam the teleport command, then it would be great. Then I could travel across oceans and such. But I'd have to be careful to not transport myself inside of a boat's hull and get spliced.

The gravel would be great though. With an unlimited supply, I'd just create a turbine which is turned by an unlimited amount of gravel pouring over it. The gravel would have to end up somewhere... Can't just leave it on earth. So I would ask countries - in exchange for the free energy - to build a space elevator/launching mechanism. The gravel would be launched into space towards the sun. This would be a problem in a few million or billion years. I'd accelerate the death of the sun by increasing its mass or maybe my gravel would add too many sunspots. Idk. But who cares. By then we will be space faring. One major issue is I'll die in 50 years give or take. So I'll need to spend most of my time spawning a surplus of gravel somewhere so the governments of the world can continue turning the turbine? Idk. That's a big problem.

Maybe I'd just start a construction company.

[-] Clbull@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Another thing to consider, if you miss your mark, do you blink as close as possible to the object you're trying to go through or does it impale/telefrag you?

[-] captainjaneway@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Definitely impale

[-] captainjaneway@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago
[-] NeonWoofGenesis@l.henlo.fi 1 points 9 months ago

Well then the air molecules will also impale your whole body

[-] captainjaneway@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Oh that's true. I guess we have to allow for displacement. If that's the case, yeah I want this power 100%. Spam teleport. I could destroy anything in the world just with displacement. I could punch a hole through tanks just by teleporting. And if I have no "cool down" when teleporting I could level entire armies. I could teleport once every nanosecond even bullets that are timed to hit me down to the nanosecond would only penetrate my body a small amount before I teleport and displace them.

[-] Clbull@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Well option 3 suddenly sucks a lot more.

Maybe it'll be a neat party trick.

[-] HauntedCupcake@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

The teleport for break-ins only works if you and the object you want to go through are less than 7 inches thick. I'm not sure you could do anything with it

[-] kolastor@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Most doors and fences are, in fact, less than 7 inches thick. You probably couldn't get into a vault, but simple B&E would be trivial.

[-] maniclucky@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Yes, but how thick are you? If you are 7.1 inches thick, your back will move forward into the thing you're trying to avoid.

[-] kolastor@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Ah, I figured it was measuring front to back, not center to center. I'd say they're both valid interpretations.

[-] porkins@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 months ago

It matters what the definition of you is. If it is the most abstract form of you then your thoughts are everywhere you deem them and the 7 inch rule is nullified and you can be transported anywhere.

[-] Halvdan@sopuli.xyz 2 points 9 months ago

My thoughts exactly. God-tier talents, both of them. But if you got #2 you don't really need to steal. I would use #3 to undress. Easily saves 5-10 seconds at bedtime. Or become the naked burglar of course.

this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
949 points (96.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

25837 readers
4561 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS