Background: I’m Chinese by origin but grew up in the west. He’s English. He’s kind of a 
but in a lefty way and has been with me to China multiple times, we’ve been together for years. He has had misconceptions before but is always learning. He does go on Reddit still, mostly to talk about land value tax which is his big political obsession right now.
Anyway last night we were at dinner and talking about an idea for a project that’s like quora but with only expert/academic researchers as responders. Part of it would need a reputation rating for the researchers. We were then talking about the use cases/audience for the project and I said “this might be better suited to Asia” (because of how highly education is valued and the pressure on kids to study/achieve grades). And he immediately responded “because they’re used to social credit scores?” Like. Without missing a beat. Maybe I’m overthinking it but it really pissed me off that his first association when I mentioned Asia was… this.
We talked about it and he explained that the concept was already in his mind when he was thinking about the reputation system so it wasn’t just a reaction to Asia specifically. But he insisted that he knew social credit scores were a real thing. I think he did listen when I said these types of jokes were what made Reddit such a hostile environment to be in, though.
I’m not sure what I’m asking but I just wanted to get it off my chest. Does anyone maybe have resources on internet Sinophobia / explanation of where the social credit stuff came from I can share with him?
Thanks crew. Sorry that was so long x
Can I just point out how messed up this is that you pointed out that something he said is a racist and Sinophobic talking point and he basically responded "but it's true lol" and now you, the victim of sinophobia, is trying to prove to him, the perpetrator, that he's factually incorrect. As a boyfriend, is the fact that he's hurt you emotionally in a way that's difficult for him to navigate enough to provoke some sympathy and an apology?
Let's reframe this into a more widely understood cultural context. If a black person is dating a white person and that white person makes an offensive joke about watermelon and fried chicken, do you think the impetus is on the black person to produce charts and graphs and statistics of per Capita watermelon consumption in black populations vs white populations? No.
Call his shit out as racist, if he doesn't apologize then you should reassess your relationship. If he sees hurting you via discriminatory jokes as a matter of facts and logic and not one of love and compassion then there's something deeply fucked up in him that you'll never fix.
I appreciate this response. He has never been sinophobic before and this is the first time anything like this has come up, which is why it was unsettling to me. I have this feeling that it seeped in via osmosis from seeing it being such a widespread meme/talking point on reddit. Rest assured I made it very clear why it was harmful and he did recognise that it was hurtful. I know I’m under no obligation to educate him, but I personally believe that making an effort is worth it in this case - we’ve been together a long time, built a loving life together, and he has put in a lot of work on many fronts, as have I. If this were a repeated thing or I felt he was dismissive, it would be a different story. Thank you (and everyone else) for your caring and support. I love this community so much