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this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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askchapo
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Pretend to have really bad digestive problems. Take frequent bathroom breaks that day, and deliberately miss the first 5 minutes in the bathroom. As you enter, announce that you're having the worst gas of your life, and apologize to the people around you. Keep a whoopie cushion in your underwear so you can "let one rip" every few minutes.