“Will the company cover all medical costs if we’re shot during our normal work day?”
I asked that, genuinely, last week because we had workplace safety training
They told me that whatever insurance the employee enrolled in would be covering that, no additional coverage would step in for such emergency.
This is truly heinous! What absolute s c u m.
I don’t know how to do special emojis but just imagine one here that communicates ‘Jesus fucking Christ what the actual fuck’.
They say yes, then after the fact their lawyers will argue that it wasn't a normal work day so they don't have to pay
ask them what to do when the cops refuse to put themselves at risk
ask them how to tell a roided up terrified cop you're not the shooter without being shot
ask them how much the active shooter training course cost the district, then ask them how much improving access control (an actually useful preventative measure) would cost and if it were considered as an alternative
improving access control
They still managed to screw this up. The people at my job made it so the warehouse employees are locked in what amounts to a kill box. They made this change after a former warehouse employee made death threats. When pointed out that warehouse employees could not egress to the main office they did not fix it and said it would take too much money.
ask if healthcare coverage at work covers injury from shooting, and then break it down by shooting type: drive by? targetted? mass? police involved? coworker? stranger? manager? go through all the scenarios "what if i was shot while technically off the clock but on work property because i was coming back from my break"
make them squirm lolol
Bring your lawyer. Bring your union lawyer. Bring someone who isn't a lawyer but have them dress like a lawyer and take notes and unless someone specifically asks "Are you a lawyer" just say vague things like "I"m here on behalf of Rashav3ak
"will the company cover funeral expenses?"
"has this ever been effective?"
"will you be issuing us rifles?"
"can the company buy us some plate carriers?"
"am i a soldier now? i don't want to be a soldier :("
"Has this method, as disseminated by this company, ever been tested in a real incident?"
If so: "How did that go? Can you substantiate that it actually helped things?"
If not: "What reason does someone have to believe this will help? Is there any sort of real empirical backing or are you profiteering off of HR agendas and fearmongering? Do you accept any sort of liability if your method fails to help or even makes things worse? [Obviously not, so] Why should any of us have confidence in this to preserve our lives when you don't even have the confidence in it yourself to accept that liability? Is there any observable difference between your presentation and that of a reasonably competent snakeoil salesman?"
I'm saving this, it can be used for a wide variety of things with some changes
I am honored to be of help to you however I may be.
If you do want to save it, I recommend copy/pasting or something because comments can be deleted for many reasons. I try to preserve the useful posts and comments I find off-site on account of that.
The last time I had to do a workplace violence awareness training, we were given a very long and very specific list of red flags to watch out for. I relentlessly reported to higher ups any time I noticed a red flag from someone higher up than me at the company. I was reprimanded for it every time.
Start asking them for how to respond to increasingly bizarre situations:
Start with something plausible like a team of shooters then move on to like "What if they have access to a rooftop helicopter? What about an armed Humvee? How do we deal with tanks?"
What if they ask for a reversible leather Planet Hollywood jacket in their list of demands? They don't even make those anymore!
"If Hamas breaches the walls should i hide behind my desk? What if they come up through the sewer?
ask them when the passive-shooter training day will be
"How long will my job be held for me if I'm injured during an active shooter event while I'm recovering in hospital?"
(Also... to kill the fun... you can absolutely be fired for fucking around too much during these things)
"Can i use my health savings account to buy a flak vest?"
"Will the company be doing flak vest matching?"
"What about tourniquettes?"
"Is a flak jacket osha required ppe now?"
"Is it true you can cover a grenade with a trash bin? Should we get steel trash bins for the grenades?"
"How long do we have to shelter in place after the cops decide not to do anything?"
"Can i take the rest of the day off after a mass shooting?"
"What about a flak helmet can i use my hsa on that?"
"Okay but what about some gym memberships so we can get good at running away, the company will cover that, right?"
"How come the executive elevator has to get buzzed in by security but not the normal elevator?"
"What if i fall over while running away from te shooter is that a workplace injury?"
"Who do i report it to if my manager got shot?"
"Who will do scheduling if my manager gets shot i don't want to get fired for no showing"
"Is it a work place injury of the cops shoot me by accident?"
"What if the cops shoot me on purpose?"
"Hey what are we supposed to do with the office first aid kit it only has bandaids and tylenol and expired in 1978"
"Come to think of it did we get the fire extinguishers checked this year?"
"Okay but if i get shot by the cops, and there's blood on the ground, but there's no " caution slippery liquid" sign, and i fall down the stairs, that would be the company's fault, right?"
"Do we have to pay for our own ride to the hospital?"
"If i'm stuck sheltering in place and my kids have to uber home and order a pizza how do i submit that as a reimbursible expense?"
"What if i get actively shot on a business trip in another state and they take me to an out of network hospital?"
Just hold up pictures of the Uvalde cops standing in the hallway with a quizzical look on your face.
Write everything down from this thread on a comically rolled up piece of paper. When the opportunity for questions arises get your comically long list of questions out and unroll it bugs bunny style, then begin.
Be totally and completely serious about the questions you have. This is a shooter situation after all, it's an incredibly serious matter and the details all matter.
the scroll that falls down and unrolls all the way across the room and bumps into the wall, pull out your tiny little reading glasses
eat a whole lot of beany chili the day/morning before
act startled like the farts are the sounds of gunfire
this is my favorite suggestion so far
Make them actually test the systems they're trying to test: Don't show up at the panic area. When you're in the area, make it hard to count you all by making everyone walk around a lot. Ask questions all the time. Take charge of leading people, lead them down the wrong path. Insist you are doing this to make sure an actual drill will work, since actual drills don't go perfect (Honestly this is what you're supposed to do when you're running a drill, you're supposed to test the strains of the system, see where it fails, so you can improve upon it for the future.)
Alternatively start a fire
the objectively funniest would be to choose that day to go postal
please don't actually do that though
someone already said to my boss "oh they're getting us all in a room so we're fish in a barrel?"
Makes you feel safe at work huh
you know you live in a healthy society when people use gallows humor to cope with their potential for violent death at the office
The normalization of it is baffling. I brought up how even the idea of this occurring makes me want to avoid the office especially since I knew two people who brought guns for a potential “good guy with a gun” scenario
Ask them question whenever the active shooter training intersects with some other corporate rule
"So do I still have to lock my PC if I get up during an active shooter drill"?
"Do I have to clock out when I leave the premises?"
etc.
the more bullshit the underlying rule the better.
Bring a real gun
"I thought 'active shooter training' meant you were going to train us in active shooting"
Ask “which weapons and ammo are we being given for this training?”
“Can I pretend to be the shooter?”
call the police and give them the description of the instructor(s)
Ask for ballistic rating of various pieces of office furniture.
The phrase/term "active-shooter training" shouldn't exist wtf is wrong with America
askchapo
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