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submitted 8 months ago by shamrt@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

Sure, the first year (or two) of COVID were wretched, but most of those barriers have since cleared — yet I'm still struggling. I've noticed the same with a number of people within my family and neighbourhood.

How are others feeling? Are you struggling, yet succeeding? If so, how are you breaking through?

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[-] whofearsthenight@lemm.ee 20 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

So it's felt like this to me basically since I became an adult. For one, I work in an industry where the holidays mean nothing. And two, now I have adult shit to do, so there isn't a ton of time to just sit around baking and watching Christmas specials and what not. Also can't really stand the consumerist side of things and while I do like giving gifts as a thing, I don't like the idea of "just buy some shit" or "whoever gets the most presents wins."

Now all that said, when I think back to what used to make the holidays special for me, I realized that was adults deliberately making the holidays special. And the shitty thing about being an adult (unless your SO is like, from the Clause family) is that you kind of have to do that for yourself, and you're probably going to have to do boring adult shit to make that happen. Like, you might literally be putting something like "Bake cookies/Watch 'The Grinch'" into your calendar. There is a lot of little things you can do as well - play some music, get some scented candles, stick a bowl of decorative pinecones out, etc.

I think this also helps a lot with other people, or in my case, my kids. I don't have a ton of friends (I'm very much a person with a small circle, but all people i know I can call if i need help moving if that makes sense) but we do some small get togethers. With my kids, I try to do more of the things that make things feel special for them. Lights on the house I could take or leave (back to being lazy) but I do my best and I put them up, even though it was just a few days ago because that was the first day that wasn't pouring where I was at home when it was light out. I make it a point to watch some Christmas movies (and let the kids come to a consensus on which) and bake some cookies or whatever. We usually go every year to that neighborhood where every house has cool lights, even if that is an hour drive away. Lots of little things like that.

Anyway, I feel like the holidays are very much a "fake it til you make it" scenario. I tend to think about it like "what do I remember that I liked about holidays" when I was a kid, and then force myself to do those things. What I've generally found is that there are definitely times I've regretted not doing anything like that, but I never regret when I forced myself to do something like this, and I rarely remember the "forced" part.

[-] bibliotectress@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

I realized that was adults deliberately making the holidays special. And the shitty thing about being an adult (unless your SO is like, from the Clause family) is that you kind of have to do that for yourself, and you're probably going to have to do boring adult shit to make that happen. Like, you might literally be putting something like "Bake cookies/Watch 'The Grinch'" into your calendar. There is a lot of little things you can do as well - play some music, get some scented candles, stick a bowl of decorative pinecones out, etc.

This is the most real advice I've seen on Lemmy. It really fucking sucked realizing that no one was going to make things special for me (mostly because I hated the realization that I was expecting someone/something else to make my life more fun). Celebrating holidays and doing seasonal things that are special for the time of year REALLY help break up the monotony of the grind of everyday life (work, kids, bills, house work, ad nauseum). It would be nice to have someone else create that magic for me, but... that doesn't really happen as an adult. You have to make things fun for yourself, and for others if you can.

[-] CaptKoala@lemmy.ml 5 points 8 months ago

Stop waiting for a single (or a couple) days of the year to put effort in for enjoyment, do it every damn day.

this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2023
211 points (94.5% liked)

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