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This is devastating
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this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2024
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Let me add another perspective.
I am 42 this year. Intellectually, I know I'm closer to 50 than to 30, but even typing that out, I dont really "believe" that.
I don't even really have a problem turning 50, per se. I just can't lock in the concept as a future eventuality. I am calling it in my 42nd year: I won't see 50 coming until it's literally here.
Or I'm destined to die before then.
I feel like I peaked mentally at like 28. Like, I'm older now but I don't mentally feel older. I can feel it in me bones but not in me head, see?
I definitely feel it in my head. At 28 I was still into self-improvement to try to please others, boss, family etc...
Almost 20 years later, I like where I am, who I am and what I have done. The amount of stuff I have packed into the past two decades is truly remarkable.
I always say I am going to dial it back a bit and relax this year. Then I fuck it all up and somehow do more.