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this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2023
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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It's not even just books for me. I can watch a movie a second time it's like watching a whole new movie. Like I completely missed half the plot and most of the details. I can also watch 100 episodes of a TV show and realize that I don't know the main character's best friend's name (the best friends who had 30 focus episodes and appeared in 86 of the 100 episodes).
It’s not even just books and movies for me. Sometimes I’d be talking to someone in real life and I’d suddenly become distracted (a text message comes in, I’m reminded about an errand because of a word they said), and the words come in and they don’t make sense. Nowadays I’ve seemed to learned how to queue the words and process them after I get distracted lol.
I can relate to this. Even while talking, sometimes I might forget what I was saying right in the middle of a sentence, and then move my focus onto completely different stuff. I find that eating well and being active somewhat helps though.
All these things you're bringing up are very common ADHD symptoms! PTSD and extreme stress and fatigue can cause these things too, but if you're not under particular pressure or recovering from trauma, or if it's been like this as long as you can remember, you might want to look into ADHD.
Getting diagnosed was life-changing for me and has radically reshaped my conception of myself.
That's interesting, and I'm glad you're doing okay now! I've never visited a professional about this type of stuff but seems like I might. May I ask how was it life-changing for you?
Sure! Undiagnosed and unaddressed, I struggled my whole life with emotional instability (huge, overwhelming feelings, very reactive), chaos in my head (songs, phrases, conversations, scenarios, etc, all jumbled up on shuffle-repeat while I'm trying to steer a train of thought through), difficulty with relationships (chaotic brain makes conversations tangential & interrupt-y, makes it easy to forget people exist, etc), difficulty starting tasks and finishing projects, and I spent almost 40 years thinking that all of this was the result of various character flaws that someday I would finally be a good enough person to fix:
Someday I won't be reactive and my brain will be quiet if I just meditate enough! (Meditation does help but definitely wasn't enough.)
Someday people will like me better if I learn to be quiet during conversations! (I try, I really do. 😂🤦🤷 I literally make lists for and take notes during big conversations.)
Someday I will be successful and have an always-tidy house! (Routines and lists help but weren't enough.)
Then my 14yo was really struggling in school and with friends and asked to be assessed for ADHD and was diagnosed, so I started reading up on it so I could parent better and in everything I was reading, I recognized myself as much as my kid. All of these problem areas are the result of my brain functioning differently from others', and no amount of pounding their strategies into it is going to make it act like theirs. There are modified and alternate strategies that work better for neurodivergent brains.
Super half-ass early morning analogy - it's like trying to drive a manual transmission vehicle when all you know is an automatic. I spent my entire life thinking that my car would start but just wouldn't go anywhere, but actually I just needed to push the clutch down to get it into gear. 😂 Why didn't anybody tell me I had a clutch?!?! They don't have clutches, they don't know any better. Now that I found my clutch, I can see that my car isn't a jalopy piece of shit, it's just different, and it is totally capable of driving!
Life-changing.
Please feel free to ask anything else! I'm happy to discuss, I want to make sure everybody knows to check their floor for a clutch before they give up on their car.