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Fellow auties, which do you find is a better and healthier fit for you: dating another autistic person or an NT? (lemmy.world)
submitted 8 months ago by BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
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I'm really confused about this. On one hand (โœ‹), I can see how dating an autistic person would be amazing because we would just understand each other on another level. We would get each other's emotions, meltdowns, joy, special interests, hyperfocus, communication style, etc. Also, there's no NT partner to miss whatever NT thing we don't bring to the relationship.

On the other hand (๐Ÿคš), we definitely have some deficiencies that NTs don't. Having an NT can help us regulate, keep us updated on social matters that we completely miss, take care of a baby that's wailing crying, and other strengths that we just don't have, while at the same time, we contribute with our own strengths that they don't have.

NTs, please feel free to contribute! Your opinion and experiences are important too ๐Ÿ™‚

I'd love to see a discussion on this topic. So what do you think?

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[-] retrolasered@lemmy.zip 5 points 8 months ago

Ive never dated anyone whos been diagnosed with anything, but I am certainly attracted to quirky people. The last long term relationship was a bit of a train wreck, and I suspect there was some autism there, but she was only ever diagnosed with anxiety, although her cousin, who her family said was just like her, was eventually diagnosed as autistic. We had very different levels of emotional maturity though and that caused a lot of problems, especially around conflict resolution. I suspect she had a personality disorder in tow.

I think you should just assess each person individually and not really screen for divergence. Most people arent going to open with 'hi im autistic' anyway, and you could end up doing yourself a disservice worrying about if they fit with you on paper verses just finding out if you fit together organically.

this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2024
55 points (91.0% liked)

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