“I didn’t do fucking shit, I didn’t rig shit!”

Bro it's for your safety just let me track you and have all your private data think of the children and drug cartels and stuff dude just trust me

This may be the greatest thumbnail of all time. Nay, is.

Also…

The FBI may not be the only US agency indirectly involved here. Government databases show that Riva also has contracts with the Department of Defense, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), and the Air Force Research Laboratory

Cool cool cool

"Do you see the perpetrator?" "Yeah, I'm right here."

Someone needs a spanking!

The FBI now says that it used the tool unwittingly and that Riva Networks misled the bureau. Once the agency discovered in late April that Riva had used the spying tool on its behalf, Christopher A. Wray, the FBI director, terminated the contract, according to U.S. officials.

Not a great look, but I'm going to give the FBI a benefit of a doubt here. Tool was declared a security risk recently, and one of their third-party contractors didn't get the memo.

Wray didn't fuck around and just terminated the contract for wasting his goddamn time. I can't really see a better outcome here.

This shouldn't be surprising at all. Nation state actors were actively using this. It would make sense that some part of the federal government would be using this as well.

"That guy's dressed like a hotdog, too!"

"No I- oh no..."