Why punish me and my son for a situation I had no benefit from?

Again I don't see how you, or your son are being punished by feminism. My point was also more about that feminism has a history of addressing societal power structures though the lens of gender. Obviously it will have some outdated elements, but it is being constantly evolved to address more modern problems women - and if you go into more modern version marginalized groups in general experience.

f anything, contemporary feminism is doubling down on demonizing men and insisting on yet more special benefits for women.

Would be curious to read up how intersectional feminism is demonizing men.

Feminists are still actively fighting for lower penalties for women while ignoring the plight of incarcerated men. Scotland is trying to get rid of women’s prisons entirely. Women get sympathy, men get the stick.

How are lower penalties for women related to feminism, that does not make any sense. Isn't it more the tradtional societal view of men being the violent and aggressive ones that is responsible for men getting an unfair treatment when it comes to sentencing?

You don’t know what the reason is, and no one much cares. When men outnumbered women, changes were made. Now that women outnumber men, you stopped caring. Ta da, feminism!

But the reason would be the whole point. Is there a systemic disadvantage, then the state needs to intervene - no need to intervene in personal choice. Women choosing to be a stay at home mom, no need to intervene. Women having to stay at home because they have no other realistic choices. That's bad.

they earn more because of social expectations

So there is a pay gap, you might say - pretty sure feminism is addressing that issue.

I think it highlights the fact that more is expected from men

But again feminism also deals with expectation put by society on men. For a personal example: I was raised by a rather feminist mother - and I don't really feel any societal pressure on me as a man. Because that's not what I tie my value as human being to.

Male suicide and homelessness is are major current issues,

That is an issue, but again - how is feminism at fault? This is more tied into USA being very neo liberal and having very little social market economy elements, which can greatly reduce the pressure on an individual.

can you stop for a moment and ask if feminism did anything to oppose it?

Sure, feminism is challenging the whole structure that is responsible for the most problems you describe. You talk about the pressure of societal pressure men feel - where does it come from. From feminist world view or from the conservative world view. Does feminism expect men to be the sole earner for a family?

Patriarchy is a theory that can’t be tested, nor can it make any useful predictions. It’s an idea that men rule for the benefit of men, but that’s clearly not happening. I think oligarchy or plutocracy are closer to what you see, but it’s just easier to blame men.

Patriarchy is not a theory it an observation of power structures. You can doubt of how much of it is left in modern times, but come on: women could not vote, work, study or be practically an independent adult for quite the long time in history and still can't in some parts of the world. It's silly to claim that there was never a power dis balance between men an women.