I think healthy masculinity is just about being active in a compassionate way. We would have to change the propaganda in society about masculinity. It has to be a positive narrative.

What does healthy masculinity even look like?

Men used to have a role as breadwinner. That gave us a purpose and dignity: it doesn't matter what job you have, so long as you provide for your family. Success was providing.

The default role is gone, and I think that's for the best. But there's no clear path to relevance for men now. So some men and boys look for other sources of purpose and validation: are they attractive to women? Do they have the right brands? Are they angry at the right people?

When I was growing up, my dad pushed me to be the best at something. The thing didn't really matter, nor did being the best, but the effort did. I needed to focus and apply myself. That gave me direction, and it helped me achieve academically. That, in turn, helped me find a purpose as an adult.

So here it is, sbv's recipe for healthy masculinity: try. Choose what you're going to do, and then try as hard as you fucking can. If it works, great. If it doesn't, understand what didn't work and move on to the next thing. But keep trying.

(I think there's a bunch of other stuff around empathy and helping others succeed, but it's hard to find self actualization in others - I think that comes as one of the results of trying)