The internet is a poor companion these days. I didn't even know that covid could do such things to you. That is awful. I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. Are you able to use hearing aids? They'll change your life for the better. Costco has pretty affordable top of the line hearing aids, respectively. Get an evaluation and find out!

You have had a major loss.

I’m glad you are still with us to share this story. You wrote in such a clear and eloquent way; it’s clear you cared very much about us that you took the time to communicate effectively.

My father is currently in a nursing home (just for normal end of life stuff). He was a deadbeat most of my life and treated his health really poorly.

It’s cruel that he was able to live the way he did and live for so long, while you’ve done nothing to “earn” your maladies; yet, you’re both in a similar situation (except no one wants to go see him, because of him being a PoS for most of his life). You don’t seem like a deadbeat or a PoS, so as far as I’m concerned, you win.

I hope things turn around completely for you and you’re restored back to full health.

I'm sorry for your loss of the lifestyle you cherished. Just a random thought: If hearing aids won't work for you, you could try feeling music instead of hearing it, while it won't be the same, sensing the underlying beat could help evoke your imagination again and possibly help you rediscover your favourite tunes and new ones.

Definitely the internet is a mixed bag, with lots of doom and gloom, and more cynical and controversial takes elevated to the top. There are also corners of the internet that are positive, definitely go visit them more. Reading fiction and learning from non-fiction literature may be more of a personal comfort than the internet may be.

It absolutely sucks that this happened to you, I would literary not wish your fate on anybody in the world. I won't use this to tell my own sob story, but have you tried getting into video games? Most have accessibility features. Get "Factorio" it basically runs on a potato and you will unironicaly forget what the sun looks like. Sound is not important either.

Nothing but feels for you friend, that's rough and I can't imagine what it must be like. I too am coming to grips with my own disabilities, a spine injury putting me into a wheelchair. Losing a sense on top of everything else you mentioned is horrific.

If I may be so bold, I found a lot of peace, zen and understanding in the book "What doesn't kill you". I recently finished and it was incredibly gratifying to read about how other people struggle with life changing medical events.

A week after the government lifted mask mandates here in South Africa the lady who usually helped me at the local pharmacy was dead. She was immunocompromised, and it took just a week of people huffing their breath on her for her to catch COVID and die. Just like that.

I wear my mask religiously whenever I walk into any building. No one is getting COVID because of my criminal negligence.

But it's not just that. I also wear my mask because I don't believe people should be allowed to simply forget COVID and all the shitfuckery about our society that it exposed.

Sorry, I know this rant doesn't help you in any way.

There are corners of the Internet still out there where you can find some really great people to hang out with; like 70% of my friend group is people who all meet through online games. We get together in person weekly or so now but still regularly play games together and hang out. I know it's no replacement for all you've lost, but maybe playing games with friends could be some comfort? Or some other hobby or interest group that can be engaged with online?

Knowing anything about it I have to ask.... would bone conducting headphones work?

This reminded me that Apple recently added a feature to iOS called Music Haptics that lets you feel the music on your iPhone. It's not the same of course but maybe it helps out a little.

I got COVID related tinnitus, avoiding beans, and certain soy based oils helps slightly, but it's not consistent.

I stay healthy by doing painful amounts of exercise each day even if it feels like it's killing me. It often feels like dying, and sometimes makes me very depressed (all my energy going into it, and being unable to think clearly after). But pushing my exercise limits every day, taking at most one day a week off for rest/recovery has helped.

I don’t know your circumstances, or what you’ve tried or can try, but you could look into cochlea implants.

And while nothing about this is ideal or easy, I hope you are able to find your way to heal and rebuild from this trauma. Grieve. You’ve lost a lot. But please don’t give up on yourself (or your wife) quite yet.

That's just rotten luck. You feel like your life has ended, and I can see why. But it hasn't. There's more strength in you than you know, even still.

If you have a favorite song, have you tried going to a lyrics site and imagining the song as you read? It's not as good as the real thing, but maybe it's a way to keep those songs alive in your heart.

I’m so sorry to hear that. I don’t really have any advice but you’ll be in my thoughts OP, I hope you get better

🙏

Fucking sucks but it was impactful to read your story. I’m guessing you’re properly deep in the supplement community, but if you want to chat about them lmk

Some guy in a Fuck Trudeau shirt got on my bus the other day and started making shitty comments to me about wearing a mask. I had earbuds in so I just looked through him like he wasn't there, but it was scary. I'm so sorry OP. Did you get the first bout before vaccines?

You should see an immunologist or rheumatologist. A lot of people with "Long COVID" have been being found to have undiagnosed or inactive autoimmune conditions that were only surfaced by these types of infections. You may be able to improve your quality of life by getting some things under control with medication.

I love music, I'm so sorry to hear about all of your struggles, it breaks my heart to read that you lost this one thing that makes things a bit less horrible.

Are you able to enjoy other art forms? Visual art and poetry are both wonderful. Visual art is tricky because reproductions can often flatten works of art in ways that would make them even more mesmerizing in person, but I still get a lot out of viewing reproductions.

I'm not as tuned into poetry but there is much poetry that I love and are worth spending time on. And like a song, a poem or a piece of art can be experienced over and over and experienced in new ways. There is a definite magic to music and the way it makes us feel things through sound.

I pulled myself out doing my own thing.

Can hear, but things sound like the Treble is all tha way up.

https://medium.com/@rachelelainemonica/how-deaf-people-experience-music-a313c3fa4bfd