In some ways I feel despair, but in other ways I feel a sense of powerful and all-encompassing vindication that I've waited my entire life for as a "punk/outcast/problem kid' that yes I was right, and yes this is all bullshit.
There's always been the trope of the person being like "You'll see. YOU'LL ALL SEE!". It's usually played for laughs, but I think many here can relate to the colossal, near-realitybreaking relief of struggling against capitalist society from before you can even articulate what it is you're struggling against, then reading theory and feeling like you're somehow reading your own thoughts, and then having those thoughts proved correct on a world stage. So many qanon freaks have fantasies of the day their estranged friends and family realize they've been right the whole time and come back, newly open to what they have to say. Well now I, the failson, the gifted-child-turned-burnout, am living that dream every day.
It's just that I also have to deal with the fact that we live in a society horrible enough to have proved me right in the first place:joker-shopping: