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How to go back to the hobby projects I used to love? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 week ago by 42yeah@lemm.ee to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee

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I’m working now (graduated for about one year) and I find myself lack the motivation to resume or start a new hobby project. Every night I get home I am just tired and want to have some me time. It’s probably due to the work culture here, but we leave the company quite late (however, we can go to work quite late as well). I can’t really be the one to change it, esp. being a new guy and all that.

One of my coworker friend recently told me that they were just like me once, until they decided to dedicate the whole morning to personal hobby projects since we’ll be working OT anyway. The idea is very enticing but it doesn’t really sit right with me.

So in conclusion, on one hand I really want to have fun making little side hobby projects again but on the other hand I find myself too tired to do them. This extends well into Saturday and Sunday as I usually go out with friends and family during sat/sun, and then I get tired from socializing. What should I do?

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[–] Libb@jlai.lu 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

So in conclusion, on one hand I really want to have fun making little side hobby projects again but on the other hand I find myself too tired to do them. This extends well into Saturday and Sunday as I usually go out with friends and family during sat/sun, and then I get tired from socializing. What should I do?

You need to consider that

You have a limited amount of time available each day. As well as in your entire live.
You have a limited amount of energy each day. Getting older, you will even get always less of it.
There are things you must do, things you like to do, and then things you want to do.

Based on that, the obvious answer to your question is that you need to make choice.

You need to decide what are your priorities, as well as decide for each day how you want to use your limited time and energy. You can't run a marathon, then paint the Sistine, then go prepare some amazing diner for your partner. That will not happen. Ever.

You may want to spend as much time during the WE with friends and family but does that mean you should spend all of it? Probably not. I love my spouse (we’ve been together for almost 30 years and counting) but, even though we both work from home, I can assure you we don’t spend all of our time together, far from it. We do many thing without the other, we also meet people the other don't meet. That's great.

What about work? Younger, I was the perfect incarnation of what being a workaholic means. It was even worse than that as I loved my job. I loved it to death and had been loving it since I was a little boy dreaming of doing that job and no other one. It was obvious to me to dedicate my entire life to it, and all of my time and I mean all of it. I had no time left to spend with friends or with my spouse, certain days I would not even see her at all because I worked like a fucking madman. And I was so fucking wrong, I only realized that the day I almost died because of that work. Work is a contract between you and an employer (yourself, if you’re your own boss). No matter how much you love your job, it's still a contract. Nothing more. It’s the contract by which you agree to devote a fixed amount of your knowledge/expertise and of your precious time (time you will never, ever get back, no matter how well you’re getting paid: Musk maybe the richest man on the planet but the day his time will come his billions won't buy him a second more of time) in exchange of a salary and maybe some other advantages. But what use is there in a salary and other advantages if you’re too tired or don’t have any time left to enjoy it?

Then, if you really want to enjoy some hobbies of yours, keep in mind you won’t be able to enjoy them after you’re gone. It's now, or never.

There are little things you can easily do to save time (and energy, which matter has much as time; if you're tired it doesn't matter how much free time you have).

How much time do you spend in front of the TV, on the computer or on the phone? Halve that time and use the time you instantly saved to enjoy your hobbies.
Go to bed early and wake up early too. If you can save an hour a day, that's 7 hours a week. That's a lot of time to do, well, anything else. I write every single day of the year from 4AM to 8AM. 4 hours worth of work in complete tranquility while the house, as well as the rest of the city is sleeping and almost silent around me. And that 's done when for most people their day is just painfully starting ;)
Eat healthy fresh food. No industrial junk. You don't need to spend hours cooking, mind you and if you have no cooking experience at all, well, it's time to start ;) Read a recipe books or take some lessons. With my spouse we do errands twice a week, and we will cook stuff that we will eat in between, it's also great time spend together.This alone, healthy food, will change your live—don't take my word for it and try it for a couple month: eat fresh food or at least don't eat over-processed industrial ready to eat turd (yep, a turd because that's what it is. It doesn't matter the pretty picture on the package: you eat what's hidden behind that pretty picture, not the picture)
Exercise every day. Don't sit all the time. No need to become Schwarzenegger or some athlete either. Just move your body every single day for maybe 30 minutes (the more, the better). Walks are great for that as you can be walking instead of driving to various places (invest in a quality pair of shoes, that's all you need) ;)
You mentioned going out. Go out one time less each week, or each month. If you like to drink while going out... don't drink for one of your session. That will save you so much energy, you have no idea.
Like suggested adapt to the seasons. I will do most of my sketching and watercolors mid-spring and during the summer because the light is so much better and I have much of it in any day. The rest of the year, I have other activities that does need that much light. Also, your energy will vary depending the season.

If you like your hobbies you must make time and saver energy for them, there is no magical wand that will git that to you without you making choice.

[–] 42yeah@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thanks for the detailed and informative reply. One point really resonates with me, and that is cutting half of the computer/phone time. I guess I’ll try this, and cut half the transit YouTube time to something more meaningful. Also, I’ll try adding a bit of light strolling in the evening to see if things get better.

As for the “sleep early” part, even though I really love & want to feel that 4AM absolute silence, (and I have tried that before in uni!) I’m afraid that’s pretty much impossible because we usually work to quite late. Maybe I’ll at least conserve a bit of stamina instead of using it all up, so that I will still have the ability to enjoy things when I get back from work. Although I’m not quite sure about how to do that.

Anyways, this has been very helpful. Will be bookmarking this and come back from time to time. Love that you are doing something I can’t, that 4-8AM period must be so sweet, especially if you get to witness the sunrise through the window :)

[–] Libb@jlai.lu 2 points 1 week ago

Thanks for the detailed and informative reply. One point really resonates with me, and that is cutting half of the computer/phone time. I guess I’ll try this,

This alone can be a life changer. I know for witnessing it how hard it can be for younger people and i also know what the terrible trap screen time is. Wishing you all the success :)

and cut half the transit YouTube time to something more meaningful. Also, I’ll try adding a bit of light strolling in the evening to see if things get better.

I don't know what are the hobbies you want to reinvest your time in (and you don't have to tell me, obviously), but if it is anything related with, say, reading, writing, or even sketching. Transit is a nice opportunity. Just do it... the analog way because if you do it on a screen you will be on a screen, and you will be tempted to check stuff online, check messages, feeds, emails, and if you manage to not check those you will still feel an urge to fiddle with the device in order to 'optimize the experience' or something along that line. Analog is your best ally (like the EU used to be for the USA up until recently :p)

To read on the go, I carry a small pocket book with me. To write, I carry a small notebook and cheap Bic ballpoint pen. For sketching, it's a small sketchbook with the same ballpoint pen plus a pocket box of watercolors that is small enough to fit in my jeans pocket if I wanted to (I don't I carry my stuff in a small messenger bag). It could be a lot of other activities the analog way, even things like knitting.

Say you feel an urge to send an important message to someone. Don't. Write it down in your notebook, using that cheap Bic you started carry with you instead. Close the notebook and wait til you're back home/office to reopen it and read that important message. See, if that message you wrote earlier still seems important enough to be send. You may be surprised. If it is still important, you will still be surprised by how much better written and articulated your message will be once you send it. Win-Win, like they say.

As for the “sleep early” part, even though I really love & want to feel that 4AM absolute silence, (and I have tried that before in uni!) I’m afraid that’s pretty much impossible because we usually work to quite late

We're 50+ my spouse and I and we seldom go to bed bed before 10pm at the earliest. I will generally not sleep before midnight (yep, I learned at a very young age to reduce sleep time). Young adult, maybe your age, I was working so much it was considered normal I would see my spouse at all (I would also stay at the office entire nights). But you don't need to be that extreme.

Say, everyday you decide to you wake up half an hour earlier than usual and, because you made it clear with yourself that you will use these 30 minutes to do something hobby related, after only 7 days you will have spared 3h+ for your activity. And that's only sleeping 30 minutes less a day. Younger I used that trick to save time to do... scale models (little plastic planes I assembled and painted).

Anyways, this has been very helpful.

It's nice to know, thx.

Will be bookmarking this and come back from time to time. Love that you are doing something I can’t, that 4-8AM period must be so sweet, especially if you get to witness the sunrise through the window :)

We live in an apartment in a big city, we do not face East but I can still (and do) watch the day rise and the light more and more broadly paint every little detail in the landscape out of the darkness, around me. It's magical, no matter how silly it looks. Later in spring and summer I also like to have the windows wide open, or sit on our balcony, listen to birds. That is,, up until cars start pooping the mood with their roaring engines. Birds have become so few in recent years... I do wonder for how many more years we will be lucky to hear them :/

Love that you are doing something I can’t,

You probably can do something very close to it (I worked a lot, like a lot the issue was not the work itself, it was my lack of clarity in what I really wanted to do). But you don't need to to do it like I do either (I know I'm a short sleeper and not everybody is). Find your own compromise, the one that will work for you. Maybe you will realize waking up an hour earlier is that magical spot you needed.

But first, focus your energy on reducing that screen time of yours. This is the most impactful if you're anything like most younger people, imho. Potentially a real life-changing event. Like I said I wish you all the success!

[–] oldfart@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Don't force it, your hobbies will feel like a chore. Guess how I know.

You have limited time and you choose to give it to friends and family. Make sure it's your choice, not theirs. It's okay to cancel social plans once in a while.

If you can afford to not sleep well, you could have a coffee at like 9pm once in a while and spend the night doing fun stuff. It worked for me when I was younger.

One more thing that I can't really recommend, but which I still do sometimes, is smoking weed after social meetings. It gets rid of that exhaustion caused by people talking and children screaming, sometimes I even find energy to do something fun then.

[–] SteelCoffee@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Don't force it, your hobbies will feel like a chore. Guess how I know.

Totally agree on this. Burnout is real, and hobbies are among the first things to go that that hits. Finding a way to turn hobby time into relaxing “Me” time helps, in my case it meant cutting down my expectations a lot. Working slower and less often, no mental deadlines, and pairing it with a glass of wine and some Star Trek episodes.

Weirdly enough I get more done now, overall.

[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 4 points 1 week ago

Try mornings. Just for a couple days to see if it works for you. Pick at why it "doesn't sit right with you".

I personally go through seasons when I'm more productive doing certain things in the mornings, and sometimes my life and work shift a bit and I find I can do those same things more productively in the evenings. That's practically a hobby in itself, trying to optimize my schedule and habits.

[–] Xavienth@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 1 week ago

What motivates me is I'm already pissing 11 hours of my day (including commute) to my boss. If I don't do something productive yet fun that i want to do then I've just more than doubled the waste to 24 hours. Life is too short to waste 5 entire days out of every 7 until you die.

You always have time, you just need to find it. The 30 minutes here and there are enough to do many things.