This is why The Onion is America's most trustworthy new source.
this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2025
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The Onion
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They print the news before it happens
Because America has become the caricature of a country?
"How can we comment on this without insulting our sponsors?"
Dems: snatching defeat from the jaws of victory since 2000!
Just reuse Jeffries clip from a few weeks ago about the house putting together a quick response taskforce.
He was talking out of his ass then about them responding to things quickly then and they will respond exactly the same way here.
Raise a paddle?
And wear pink.
Just don't do anything to upset the big money donors. Especially AIPAC.
Aw man, there's no article... That would have been a fun read. :/