Complications: if I scoot or stand in most of the ways that I can conceive of accessing it, this hastens the heat death of the universe by increasing my metabolic rate and consumption of energy, I think.

As a negative utilitarian, I feel my best moral decision in this moment is to go back to sleep. However, the television is off and I cannot sleep without a twelve hour video on banned Yugi-oh cards. (Pot of Greed assuages my concerns about thermodynamics some, I think.)

How do I turn my tv on?

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[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 32 points 2 weeks ago

Have you considered pretending to also be a TV and seducing it?

[–] CidVicious@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago

TIL that this sub allows text-only posts. The possibilities this opens up are endless.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 2 weeks ago

Throw something at the button.

[–] vk6flab@lemmy.radio 5 points 2 weeks ago

Props for a shitpost with such depth of depravity, especially since even a single response here will increase entropy more than you getting up and turning the TV on multiple times a day for the rest of your life.

And here's the kicker, that pales into insignificance when compared with watching a twelve hour video.

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Watching tv also hastens the heat death of the universe.

By your philosophy, I see two options

You strangle yourself now to lessen the pain on everyone else
You dedicate yourself to reducing entropy on earth and concede you must watch 12 hour videos on banned cards to be most effective

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

One time I was running a robotics club and I had a student try to strangle themselves - by hand.

Not a very effective strategy. They were back in a couple weeks.

[–] SoupBrick@pawb.social 5 points 2 weeks ago

You have 5 liters of drawing material at hand. Summon a demon to turn it on for you.

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Re: complications

What you're referring to is only the illusion of energy expendature. You moving, "burning" energy, isn't really encouraging entropy because you're just changing one energy form to another. The only thing that destroys energy is time.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

But what about relativistic effects? Getting off my ass is altering the passage of my time, at least somewhat.

I did manage to get up to get an energy drink; it doesn’t seem to be providing me any ability to do work though.

[–] Angelusz@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Spike it with amphetamines, work and then realize that suddenly three days have passed, you forgot to eat and the universe is a little bit closer to said entropy.

[–] EABOD25@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago

Have you considered remotely?

[–] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

I've found that a bit of cocaine and promises of acting work does the trick.

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Turn of the lamps, light a few candles and whisper sweet nothings in it's ear

[–] lime@feddit.nu 1 points 2 weeks ago

hdcp-capable dongles usually turn the TV on by themselves. just try casting, see what happens.